Christmas songs

Yep, the final and surely only important remaining topic of 2009: the best and worst Christmas songs. Obviously. You are surrounded by them everywhere you go, after all, and probably have been since the Hallowe’en paraphernalia was hidden away for another year. How limp and lifeless would Christmas be without them?

However clichéd they may be, whether you like them or despise them, I’m especially interested in different versions of the same piece for comparison’s sake. The Drifters’ version of ‘White Christmas’, for example. Frank Sinatra’s ‘Jingle Bells’. Celine Dion’s attempt at ‘Happy Xmas (War is Over)’. And so on and so forth.

By the way, in my view, which is flagrantly biased, never mind downloading ‘Killing in the Name’ to spite Cowell and Co.; people in the UK should be trying to make this Christmas Number One – and supporting Crisis at the same time. What do you think? (Proceeds will also be donated to Feeding America and the United Nations’ World Food Programme. Good for you, Bob.)

OK, I’ll get straight to the songs that I find most irritating at this (most wonderful) time of the year. I have a fairly high tolerance level when it comes to Christmas tunes, surprisingly, but draw the line at these. I’m really sorry if mentioning them causes anyone’s blood pressure to rise. You might want to hold your breath?

– Burl Ives, ‘Holly Jolly Christmas’
– Jona Lewie, ‘Stop the Cavalry’
– Mike Oldfield, ‘In Dulci Jubilo’

And breathe out through your mouth slowly…

As always, thank you very much for your company throughout the year, both here and in the chatroom; I continue to value your honesty and humour greatly. Enjoy the Christmas holiday, however you choose to spend it, and may the New Year bring all that you hope for, particularly good health.

At the risk of sounding like Shakin’ Stevens: Merry Christmas, everyone.