Room 101

George Orwell was born Eric Arthur Blair on this day in 1903. In his epic novel, Nineteen Eighty-Four, he described a torture chamber where one’s greatest fear is forced upon anyone rebellious to Big Brother. The story’s dissenting character, Winston, is punished for his disobedience to Party doctrine by having a wire cage filled with rats fitted to his face. ‘Horrible’ just doesn’t cut it.

Taking the Room 101 theme and using it as the title for a radio programme which, according to the BBC, began as “a way of countering the smug sliminess of Desert Island Discs”, it provided a platform for celebrities to vent their spleens and a place to banish their irksome pet hates. (No wire cages or rats were involved.)

It soon, not surprisingly, evolved into a television show.

Typically there are five proposals; the guest states his or her case, the audience gives its reaction (usually laughter) and the presenter’s decision is final: it either goes into Room 101, or it doesn’t. Just about anything is fair game. Phil Collins, for example, made a successful case for the riddance of TV Christian evangelists; the satirist Ian Hislop wanted the Beatles put in; comedian Bill Bailey nominated Chris de Burgh; Jonathan Ross, TV presenter and film critic, suggested films about plucky underdogs; and, one I know will be quite popular from our discussions about charity, Bono was chosen by comedian Mark Steel.

What would you choose? Anything is allowed and your reaction to the nominations of others is looked forward to as much as your initial recommendations.

I asked David and Polly for theirs. Off the top of their heads, they went for:

David:-

– Autographs (“not just giving them but the whole idea of them, getting trapped in conversation when in a hurry”)
– The name ‘Dave’
– Reading glasses
– Cardamom pods

Polly:-

– People who don’t know that the right hand side of escalators is for walking, not standing
– Individual plastic cartons for single servings of milk
– Dogs that show their bottoms (i.e. pugs)
– Pressed bogeys in library books
– The word ‘hopefully’

And for me, although I suspect I could provide a different five for every five minutes for as long as I live, so easily irritated am I:

– Anne Robinson (that’s on behalf of Welsh people everywhere)
– Cats
– Shoppers waiting at the till behind you who don’t thank you when you put the (itself always annoyingly comma-less) Next Customer Please shopping divider on the conveyor belt for them
– Children who screech without good reason to do so
– Romantic comedies (all the more so when condensed to hideous ‘rom-com’)

If you’re not cringing at the thought of at least one of the above suggestions, please share your secret to enjoying a less flustered life with us tetchy mortals.

Have a good weekend, everyone. Remember: if you find yourself waiting behind someone who has kindly taken the trouble to reach over and place a shopping divider behind their items for your convenience this weekend, show them that you appreciated the gesture. They didn’t have to put it there, and maybe next time they won’t bother. Maybe next time they’ll even snatch it away from you with an elaborate sigh and won’t try to contain their resentment for your rudeness, possibly calling you something offensive just for good measure.

Author: FEd

Features Editor of David Gilmour's official blog, The Blog ('Features' previously being its rather naff title), affectionately - or lazily - shortened to 'FEd'.

76 thoughts on “Room 101”

  1. Most popular modern abbreviations should be consigned to room 101 (‘uni’, ‘Glasto’, ‘fest’, etc) as they are an abominable and lazy dumbing-down of the English language. Similarly, any supermarket signs proclaiming: “# items or less”. The word is “fewer” for goodness sake!

  2. I think I could come up with five pet hates every hour and never stop.

    -Whoever devised the surgery that literally attaches cell (mobile) phones to people’s heads. I see a dozen people every day walking around like zombies with their phones literally stuck to their ears. A person could literally mutate into a rainbow techincolored butterfly with glowing wings right in front of them and they’d never notice.
    -Entertainment news.
    -My right foot. Causes me no end of trouble.
    -The phrase ‘baby bump’ see entertainment news for details.
    -Sarah Palin

  3. Sorry for going off on a tangent here, FEd. Don’t even get me started on ‘Nineteen Eighty-Four’ as I did an essay on the parallels between ‘The Wall’ and ‘The Final Cut’ in conjunction with the aforementioned novel.

    Here is an updated snippet:

    In ‘Nineteen Eighty-Four’ there are the ‘thought police’.

    During ‘The Trial’ “Pink” is sentenced to ‘tear down his wall’ for his “thought crime”. Pink’s thought crime can be witnessed in ‘Waiting for the Worms’ and ‘Run Like Hell’. His thought crime is of a Fascist nature. The Judge states that Pink has to be ‘exposed before his peers’. Pink’s sentence therefore is to come out of his ‘perfect isolation’ and tear down his wall.

    In Nineteen Eighty-Four, Winston Smith, the novel’s main character, is sent to Room 101 and is exposed to his “deepest fear” which is rats. ‘The thing that is in Room 101 is the worst thing in the world…varies from individual to individual. It may be burial alive, or death by fire, or by drowning, or by impalement, or fifty other deaths…In your case; the worst thing in the world happens to be rats’ .

    I think Room 101 is an excellent sentence for ‘Pink’ who has been suffering from his Nazi-type ‘thought crime’.

    This is, of course, all conjecture, but I suppose it would be useful if my whole essay was read in order for the above to make any sort of sense.

    Personally, I think motorists who do not indicate should be put into 101.

    When I can think of more, I will post them.

    1. Hello Julie,

      Thanks for sharing your thoughts on Room 101 and possible parallels with The Wall. Many many years ago similar thoughts had crossed my mind. 🙂 I was a psych student, we were all in love with Pink Floyd of course, haunted by Room 101, and in our field Dr. Arthur Janov’s “Primal Scream” was the New Big Thing. Many of us thought The Wall was a text book primal scream of male juvenile (in the sense of youthful) angst. The song “Mother” in particular is a wonderful piece of Freudian prose put to the most incredible music. How lucky we were. Papers were also written to that effect!

      Cheers,
      Bella

    2. It’s humorous to think what kind of problems the thought police might be having with us Gilmour and Pink Floyd fans. We would be the ones to keep them hopping.

  4. Cats
    People sweeping around me when I eat, WAFFLE HOUSE!!
    Tom Cruise
    Moles in my yard
    Jeopardy

    I could go on and on, but I’ll save it for next time. This felt like therapy, thanks Fed!

  5. – Artificial sweeteners
    – Used tea bags being left in the sink
    – Ainsley Harriot
    – Wasps
    – Charges for not getting through to someone’s mobile phone because it’s been picked up by their answering service.

    I’m with Polly on dogs’ bottoms (now there’s something I never thought I’d find myself typing). It all dates back to my childhood… I had a friend who told me that that’s what they filled sausage rolls with. To this day I can only eat them side on.

    1. :)) Oh dear, I think I’ve eaten my last sausage roll. Thank you. (No, really, they’re on my GIVE UP list. Horrible, gristly things.)

    2. Oh my!! I hadn’t eaten sausage for years, I’ve been stuck on bacon. This morning my husband cooked sausage, now I’m sick, yuck, but it was funny!

  6. A few that get to me but shouldn’t:

    Spiders
    Tripping over the cat!
    Nails on a chalkboard and chalkboards in general
    Political correctness
    Bad landings

    All the best. 🙂

  7. The Eurovision Song Contest
    People who don’t want to work for a living
    Guitar Hero
    Bar staff who pour Guinness wrong… it’s an art!

  8. I have a few doozies to add but must do it later. Funny topic.

    But have to add to Polly’s that the in U S lots of us use the left side of the escalator for walking, so maybe she’s gotten behind a bunch of lazy or confused tourists. If so , sorry for that. Or if young men, I am sure they are just figuring out a way to get a better look at her as she isn’t exactly unattractive (to put it mildly).

    Jan

  9. …room 101? It rather should be big, because there are a lot of candidates:

    – the whole drug industry
    – militarists
    – “artists” that are only in for the money
    – people who can’t at least ignore one, instead of being unpolite
    – with very, but really very few exceptions, radio hosts
    – spammers
    – breaking strings

    and so on.

    FEd you’re very right, I could do another different five in five minutes, too and I’m very sure someone out there would suggest me for room 101…

    It was very interesting to read David’s and Polly’s recommendations. It surely is a burden to be a public person… And here in Germany you stand right and walk left on escalators, so please have mercy with continental Europeans, Polly! 😉

    Best regards and have a great weekend!

    Taki

  10. Room 101…

    – Music critics who compare a new album to so and so. It must be terrible for artist to hear that their work sounds like XYZ.

    – People who do ” ” with their fingers when talking.

    – The phrase ‘Oh My God’.

    – People who have all the latest cars, gadgets etc. then claim that they are skint.

    – Mobile phones.

    Enjoy the weekend!!

  11. Those awful idiot car keychain horn beepers designed to supposedly confirm that your car is indeed locked… ughhh. Worse invention ever. You can’t go anywhere anymore without hearing other people’s stupid dreaded car horns sounding off. Worse than vuvuzelas. Your car will be locked with one press. You can actually hear the locks actuate, so just stop it everybody, please… and thanks.

  12. How liberating to allow yourself to wallow in negative thinking for once instead of having to be maniacally positive in all circumstances.

    Good old Eric Arthur!

    1. Men in the bus who diddle their inner ears with their pinky fingers then stare amazed at the big glob of wax (don’t ask what happens next, I’ve jumped off); 😮
    2. Unkindness;
    3. People who, when invited to dinner, refuse to eat their host’s meal because of their so-called health choices and expect alternate choices;
    4. My Prime Minister: Mr. Stephen Harper – because he is, deep down, unkind;
    5. Fundamentalists of any stripe.

    Have a lovely week-end…

    Bella

    1. Men in the bus who diddle their inner ears with their pinky fingers then stare amazed at the big glob of wax

      :)) Disgusting. The same applies to those who blow their noses into a tissue or handkerchief and then take a good, long look at the resulting mess.

      Although I prefer that to those who spread their germs indiscriminately by coughing and spluttering into thin air without so much as a thought for the rest of us.

  13. 1. People who raise their voices louder and louder thinking that you will side with their idea if you do so.

    2. People who give up when success is still an option.

    3. Chewed gum.

    4. People who don’t realize that taking accountability is a much easier path.

    5. People who think Fox News is real (and continue to call the President “the annointed one”).

  14. Sarah Palin – Can anybody be as wrong?
    Indentured Service – Should be a law against it.
    Shallow People – We run across them daily.
    Waiting – Is for the birds.
    Distances – For obvious reasons.

    Thanks FEd and David for the 101!

  15. Autographs (“not just giving them but the whole idea of them, getting trapped in conversation when in a hurry”)

    Does this have anything to do with the Gilmour Strat not having David’s signature on it? …the fact that it doesn’t actually makes it a bit more appealing to me… the price is a bit of a problem, but I’m getting close to pulling the trigger on one finally… :v

  16. Cats? Oh FEd, you wouldn’t throw mine into Room 101, would you? :!

    Very nice to see David and Polly sharing some personal ideas on the blog. Amusing, too. But where is David’s fifth nomination? Deleted? 😉

    Usually, mine would be:

    – Know-it-alls
    – Sex discrimination
    – People who abandon their pets, who dump them on the side of the road when they go on holiday.
    – People who chew with their mouth open. People talking to you while chewing gum. In general, people who lack manners.
    – Telemarketing calls

    + right now:

    – Raymond Domenech and co…
    – BP
    – Richard E. Grant (???) for throwing Math teachers into Room 101 in 1995. Voila. Haha maybe he agreed with the totalitarian State’s slogan in Orwell’s novel: ‘2+2=5’.

    1. Very nice to see David and Polly sharing some personal ideas on the blog. Amusing, too. But where is David’s fifth nomination? Deleted? 😉

      :)) He’s clearly too damn pleasant, he only offered four.

      I was going to add one for him. I got so far, then stopped myself, because I’d hate for anyone to get the impression that David doesn’t like something when he does. (Or should that be the other way around?)

      Radiohea… 😉

    2. …he agreed with the totalitarian State’s slogan in Orwell’s novel: ’2+2=5′.

      “Make them add two and two…” 😉 😀

  17. I’m trying to write again this message, since the first one I sent has vanished. 🙁

    Comments mysteriously disappearing as soon as posted will certainly feature in my long list of pet hates. 😉

    – People who walk very slowly ahead of me in the street, occupying the entire pavement, so that no one can go past them.

    – People eating or drinking in a noisy way at the cinema.

    – Folded corners in the pages of a book (used as bookmarks), especially when the book is mine.

    – People talking very loudly, particularly by phone, even if they’re not having a quarrel.

    – People who stick to me or continuously touch me while talking, especially if I know them a little.

    – Unknown people I meet quite often, scared of my boyfriend’s dogs without any reason, who move aside annoyed, or take aside their children, saying our (sweet) dogs are going to bite them. I swear that, if I could, I’d bite them myself!

    – My hairdresser who criticizes me every time I go to cut my hair, because I refuse to buy the dirty, polluting, toxic shampoos tested on animals, which – she says – would be perfect for me.

    1. :)) Alessandra, I love you. I’ve nodded my head in agreement throughout reading your list, so much so that I feel I belong in the back of somebody’s car, with shoulders hunched forward like a dog’s, nodding enthusiastically at the people in the vehicle behind.

      God, aren’t nodding dogs in the backs of cars annoying? Still less so than those quirky signs, affixed to rear window by suction cap, which announce that there’s a freaking baby on board. Baby on Board! Little Person on Board! Twins on Board! Grandson on Board! Or, worst of all, Little Princess on Board! That reads to me as: ‘Spoilt Little Madam You’d Like to Slap on Board. Be Prepared for a Head, Probably Adorned with Pigtails and Ribbons, to Pop Up and Poke Its Tongue Out at You. Don’t, Under Any Circumstances, Glare Back or Make a Rude Gesture with Your Fingers. It’s a Child, Be Nice, Just Smile Sweetly Or Play Along. (You May Silently Curse the High-Pitched Little Critter… the Driver Often Does. P.S. The Driver Hates This Stupid Sign as Much as You Do.)’ They’re not there for safety reasons, I think they’re there to show off. Like the rest of the world beyond your immediate family and circle of friends gives a damn about your cargo. Some of us have got ice cream and/or fresh fish melting away in the back, which is much more important to us, so hurry up and get out of the way.

      There, that’s better.

      I’m sorry I couldn’t find your original comment.

    2. I wonder what my reaction would be if ever followed a car with this sticker affixed to rear window: ‘Grumpy FEd on Board’… 😉

    3. :)) Alessandra, I love you. I’ve nodded my head in agreement throughout reading your list, so much so that I feel I belong in the back of somebody’s car, with shoulders hunched forward like a dog’s, nodding enthusiastically at the people in the vehicle behind.

      :)) Thank you, FEd. It’s good to know that you can understand my neurosis.

      About the rear window signs, I agree with you. They’re just a display of narcissism.

      At the moment, the “Baby on Board!” sign is the most common here, but “I’m on Board!” (with the image of a dog/baby) is quite easy to see, too.

      It seems “Little Princess on Board!” is not available here, yet, but I’m sure it will arrive very soon. How could we renounce something so silly?

      I have one more pet hate to add to my list.

      – Mothers who go shopping in the huge crowd of the street markets, taking their children in the pushchair (and treading on everybody’s feet), or, even better, a poor, little dog on the lead, that risks to be crushed at any moment.

  18. Hi,

    Funny, Polly would collide with a lot of people coming here: In this land, we stand to the right on escalators, walk on the left. 🙂

    Here is five things from me:

    – Phonesale-people, who call you by first name only, and start their sales-speech by asking, ex. “Do you like to read books?”. (I always answer: Just say what you want to sell, and I’ll tell you if I wanna buy.)
    – Badly trained/educated staff in shops, who know absolutely nothing about the stuff they sell. Typical quotes from them could be: “if it’s not over there on the shelf, we don’t have it” or “we sell a lot of those”.
    – Cheap people/cheapness, – you know, when somebody’s wallet seems to be glued to their pocket or purse
    – Cats – I go with you Fed – especially when they shit in my garden
    – Number five is tough… dare I say this…: People who never open a newspaper and don’t give a damn about what happens in society.

    :v Lene

    1. (I always answer: Just say what you want to sell, and I’ll tell you if I wanna buy.)

      Lene, I wasted at least twenty-five minutes – twenty-five minutes, for Pete’s sake – talking to someone a few evenings ago about birds. And she was getting paid by the RSPB to pretend that she gives a hoot (hoot, get it?) about birds and had the nerve to tell me at the end that the telemarketing campaign was costing upwards of £20,000.

      Surely there are better ways of spending £20k, RSPB? That’s £20k that people like me are helping to raise, who like to think that it will be spent on conservation and what not. (Yes, I know that’s unfair and they have to raise funds.)

      She was in fine feather, but must have thought me an absolute bird brain to swallow her cock-and-bull story.

      I will do as you do next time, instead of being a mug. (I’d say ‘chicken’, but I’ve already over-done it with the avian idioms, don’t you think?)

  19. This is from today’s Telegraph.co.uk, a quote from David. It was in such a strange place. There I was reading how the Pope didn’t want to appear on Thought For The Day on the BBC, and then there was this on the same page:-

    X Factor rejects
    Television talent contests now dominate the pop charts, but they would have spelt doom for some past greats.

    “If I was trying to enter the business via something like The X Factor I would have been out on the scrap heap before even the audition process,” says David Gilmour, Pink Floyd’s lead guitarist.

    Isn’t that weird? Just thought I would share.

    Love from Denise, the Fat Old Sunny One xxxx

  20. The things that I would like to submit to Room 101 are:

    – When people say “haitch” instead of “aitch”
    – Women who put on their make up in public places i.e the train
    – People who think that I am after something just because I smile at them.
    – People who walk their dogs but do not bother to clean up after them.
    – People who rob someone who has worked their backside off to buy something.
    – People who throw their cigarette ends out of their car window.

    Thinking about it, I could go on and on.

  21. Dear F.Ed, nice topic!

    1)The neighbours (people who don’t have to work all week) who have to cut his grass at 13.30 on the weekend
    2) People who don’t use their turn signals
    3) Telephone sellers
    4) The aroma of the muskmelon
    5) The presence of sweets and candies at the checkout while you are in the queue together your child/children, and your fight to avoid the impulsive buy

    Thank you so much, have you all a nice day.

    cheers/ciao
    Elisabetta

    1. People who don’t use their turn signals

      Oh God, yes. 😡

      I’ve even caught myself making that hand signal at drivers who don’t indicate as they pass me, as though it will make them think twice next time.

      You know the one (no, not that one). Some of you will recall Peter Kay’s “You’ve left your lights on” gesture, which I can’t find on YouTube, unfortunately.

  22. As a teacher here in the USA, I send to Room 101 the overpaid politicians who say that teachers get paid too much, that we are the cause of high taxes. Let’s have a reality check, shall we? Salary for a very experienced and accomplished teacher: around $60,000 per year. Salary for a beginning, low-level legislator: some $150,000 for a part-time job. Yeah, I’m the one busting the budget!!

    I would send that creepy CEO from BP to Room 101. The aforementioned legislators would torture him with endless threats of enacting regulations. Of course, the BP guy would yawn in their faces, resplendent in the knowledge that no such regulations are ever enacted or enforced.

    Who else? I would send a lot of former employers and ex-girlfriends to Room 101. Let them all drive one another BONKERS with pettiness and triviality. Oh, and shock jocks like Howard Stern. Please, grow up already!

    And Britney Spears. Actually, I think she is already in Room 101. Never mind, then.

  23. In no particular order

    Slugs
    Jeffery Archer
    Bullies
    People who use mobiles while driving
    Overpaid, pampered, prima-donna English ‘football’ players
    Cruelty to animals
    The trampoline the neighbours have in their garden (sorry, I know it’s fun but it’s ugly)
    Drink Drivers
    Charity arm twisting
    Co-operative car insurance

  24. People who smoke cigarettes and blame their hacking phlegmy coughs on the weather, pollens and such. How would you know?

    I hate comb overs, Donald Trump! Geez, shave it and shine it! Just quit looking like an idiot and pissing me off! 😡

    Skinny people who think they’re fat, it leaves me to wonder what they must be thinking about me.

    Politicians, I don’t think a reason is necessary.

    Cilantro, oh how I hate to encounter a piece of that green mess. Tastes like washing up liquid… yes, I’ve tasted it. 😛

    Thanks David, Fed and Polly.

    P.S. FEd, just letting you know, my team won the Medical Services division in the 2010 Knoxville Dragon Boat Race on Saturday. For the overall event, we made it to the semifinals but lost by 1/11 of a second. It was a super fun way to raise money for the homeless.

  25. My pet hates as follows:

    1) Rock legends who wont give you an autograph. Only Kidding DAVID.

    1) Bad driving

    2) The England football team and the Premiership.

    3) Welsh people who always complain about the English. Kidding again Fed.

    4) Nick Clegg for being a lying twat.

    4) David Cameron for being a Tory.

    5) The Tory Party.

    Sorry Fed, but if I put all my pet hates on here I might get arrested and upset most of the population of this planet.

    Kind regards, not so seriously
    Damian

  26. 1) Glenn Beck/Rush Limbaugh/Sarah Palin, etc. ~ blech!
    2) ‘Religious’ zealots (Christian, Muslim, etc.) who espouse intolerance and hate
    3) Parasitic lawyers
    4) Erectile dysfunction commercials 8|
    5) People who, after a tragedy has claimed lives but has left their loved one alive or after a child has gone missing/kidnapped but is found alive when so many others are not, say something to the effect that God has answered THEIR prayers or that THEIR loved one was spared because God has a plan for them. I don’t think I’m expressing this correctly ~ maybe some will understand what I mean. 😕

    Gabrielle

    1. I think you mean that someone is insensitive enough to imply that God is answering THEIR prayers, but not the prayers of others in the same predicament. I agree.

    2. Thanks, Dan. 🙂 That’s exactly what I meant, just couldn’t break down my thoughts into a coherent explanation.

  27. I have always been a fan of Pink Floyd as I am sure most of us have. And I will admit that for many years I listened to neither Waters or Gilmour. But more recently my 27 year old son brought over Gilmour’s Royal Albert Hall DVD, and WOW, I was quickly sold again on David Gilmour. For me Waters doesn’t compare. This DVD is most inspiring and gives me renewed hope that real heart and real music of mind and soul still plays on today.

    Because of David Gilmour and the great players that are by his side, I am back and believing again.

  28. Hi FEd,

    Sorry, but I prefer to concentrate myself on positive things I like.

    This is my positive list:

    -Music
    -Love
    -Friendship
    -Human Rights
    -Harmony
    -Respect

    And I prefer to think of my cat Papuff, he loved me so much like a dog. I apologize to those people who don’t love cats.

    Bye, Hydrea

    1. No offence intended, Hydrea. It’s just a bit of silly, harmless fun. My only issue with cats is that they torment my dogs terribly, make a mess of my garden, kill the birds I’ve gone to some trouble and expense to provide a supposedly safe haven for (for their amusement, nothing more) and make the most horrible noise when they fight, which they tend to do when I’m trying to sleep. That’s a few cats in particular and something to be angry about with their owners (who have it much easier than dog owners, yet without any of the responsibility or bad press, dare I say?).

      I know I’d love a cat if I had one (and taught it to stay in its garden, avoid all other cats, get on with the dogs and to leave the birds alone for fear of a shot of icy cold water). 🙂

    2. Ok FEd, now I understand.

      Thanks for explaining to me well your thought about cats. 🙂

      Take care.

      Bye, Hydrea

  29. Fed, what a fun topic that is, and how nice that Polly and David are sharing their ideas! Who woulda have thought that David doesn’t like to be asked for autographs, LOL, I almost bothered him, after his gig in the Frankfurt, behind the Opera venue, where his tour bus was waiting, and only because my friend knew that David wouldn’t appreciate being asked for an autograph after a 3 hour concert and threatened to leave me waiting alone in front of the bus, I gave up, LOL. Autographs are an excuse for getting close to your idol for a second and a trophy that you succeeded, but I can very well understand when stars like David are less than thrilled by being asked about it.

    Fed, I also agree about your complaints about obnoxious customers in groceries.

    My 5 things for the rooms are:

    UK newspapers speaking of war regarding the World Cup game yesterday, England vs Germany, hey, it is just a game, and we are cousins after all, aren’t we? Believe it or not, when England isn’t playing against Germany, I am crossing fingers for England only. But then I am Anglophile and not gleeful today after our win.

    Another thing of annoyance are so called friends who are echoing every pound you are gaining, but don’t salute you after you have lost all the extra pounds, and , even worse, are asking you constantly if you are eating enough. Same is true for people staring at you as the most suspicious person they ever met when you tell them no, thank you, I don’t drink any alcohol.

    And last but not least… Roger Waters promoting his tour now as if he would be Pink Floyd and if the Wall had been his baby. How down to earth and subtle David had been promoting his new album and tour in 2006 and 2007. What a contrast between those personalities, no wonder that David doesn’t want to play with Roger again and no wonder I cannot stand Roger.

    1. UK newspapers speaking of war regarding the World Cup game yesterday, England vs Germany, hey, it is just a game, and we are cousins after all, aren’t we?

      Cousin Ulli, I assure you that Welsh newspapers don’t stoop so low.

      English tabloids are an absolute disgrace and a huge embarrassment to anyone with any sense of shame or dignity. (It’s almost as bad when England play Argentina, with similar references to the Falklands war. And, of course, the English media frequently forgets that the UK is made up of countries other than England. You will see ‘British’ used to cover up English humiliation often, but it’s always ‘English’ when there is glory to be milked. Sorry, Damian, but it’s true.)

      You’d think us Brits had no skeletons in our closet.

      Congratulations to Germany; the best team won (Paul the psychic octopus was right) and I’m delighted that losing to Germany sticks in the throats of mindless bigots so much. The Welsh certainly don’t like losing to the English at sport, but our newspapers don’t dredge up history to popularise and promote racism (despite centuries of what many will always label ‘English persecution’, I may add, and those were in times of peace, not war… and without a moustachioed Austrian demagogue in sight) and encourage it to be gleefully, drunkenly, ridiculously hurled at sportsmen who had nothing to do with it. (In Germany’s case, at sportsmen whose parents weren’t even born until after WWII had ended, many of whom are of Polish, Turkish and Brazilian descent, anyway.)

      Also, I don’t think there will be many English people supporting Germany throughout the remainder of the World Cup, rather they will support anyone but Germany whilst whingeing about how the petty and pathetic (jealous?) Welsh, Scottish and Northern Irish should support England instead of anyone but.

      Funny, that.

      This is one reason why I championed Nick Clegg in the last election, who then turned out to be a Tory in a yellow tie, so what do I know? The last paragraph is spot-on.

  30. Polly said,

    People who don’t know that the right hand side of escalators is for walking, not standing

    Figures you lot would ride on the wrong side of the escalator as well.

  31. 1) The Black Bloc, anarchists who weasel in and out of peaceful protests and damage anything in their path and getting innocents arrested for no reason. Looked real bad for Toronto recently because of morons with nothing to do, or stand up for their views.

  32. FEd,

    How about a goalie who knew the ball crossed the line but grabbed it quickly and played on like nothing happened while everyone else except for the REF knew something was wrong?

    Thanks.

    Andrew

    1. What a ridiculous decision to disallow a clear goal. If we can’t have goal-line technology, as used in other sports, why not the referee’s assistants behind the goal-line, as tested in the Europa League last season? I expected to see them at this World Cup.

      Perhaps a combination of five match officials, communicating with one another through headsets, would have been able to correctly award that goal.

    2. I do agree with you FEd. In the NHL they used to have a guy sitting in a box behind the net and whenever a goal was scored he would light up a red light. Now in the day of video and replays, those guys are out of work. However, I bet they would be pleased for a similar job behind the soccer/football net.

      I read that purists are against replays in the sport as there is a feeling that it will slow down the tempo of the game. Maybe that is true but what if that goal that was missed would have resulted in a 2-2 tie? What is more important, getting it right and giving a fair chance or keeping the tempo going?

      I think these World Cup games certainly show that something needs to be done. So I guess you’ll be rooting for Spain now?

      BTW, did you also read that FIFA has now acknowledged that something is wrong with the ball they are playing with?

      Unfortunately this World Cup appears like it is turning into the World Joke. And sorry for ranting on this here.

      Thanks.

      Andrew

    3. I welcome all rants, you should know that by now. It makes me feel less guilty about my own. 🙂

  33. Howdy there FEd!

    In no particular order…

    1. Inhumane treatment of animals.
    2. People with a sense of entitlement.
    3. Religious zealots (especially, those that scream and protest for their religious freedom, but do not want to offer the same to those of alternate paths. No reciprocal respect of beliefs).
    4. Parents who hit their children and then tell them to shut up.
    5. Racism.

    Have a wonderful week!
    Penny

  34. Alessandra, I love you. I’ve nodded my head in agreement throughout reading your list, so much so that I feel I belong in the back of somebody’s car, with shoulders hunched forward like a dog’s, nodding enthusiastically at the people in the vehicle behind.

    So funny FEd. I needed a good laugh tonight and once again you provided it! This is why I keep returning to your Blog. Thank you.

    I would put in Room 101:

    Rap Music
    War
    Politics
    People who drive while talking on cell phones (so dangerous)
    Parents that ignore their children in stores and let them run wild and expect strangers to keep them out of harm. Poor children.

    Hope you have a good week FEd! I was nice seeing David and Polly take part on the blog also.

  35. Cardamom pods? Really? Just the thingies in itself, or also their taste, I wonder…

  36. Oh this is manna from heaven. I had my 60th Birthday on Friday, so this is my first opportunity to display the typical ramblings of that age group.

    OK, for Room 101:

    1. People who do not use their indicators. Motor manufacturers spend millions on development to make our driving life easier, be considerate and let everyone else know what your intention is and use the indicators!

    2. The M25 has just been widened to four lanes between J16 and J19 at the cost of millions. No one is using the nearside two lanes. Why?

    3. Political Correctness gone mad. A news report the other week noted that a young child got stuck up a tree and the teachers were told not to rescue him because of health and safety! AAAAhhhhhhhh!

    4. When I hold the door open for someone, it would be ever so nice if they said “thank you”. I am a simple soul with simple needs! :v

    5. We Brits normally have an innate sense of fairness. One of the traits that embodies this is to queue. Why then do some people feel that they have a right to circumvent this quaint tradition?

    Just a comment on one of David’s observations regarding autographs, I have an autograph book from my late Grandmother where she has collected names from the early 1900s. In those days you either did a small drawing or a poem to accompany your name, that would have required an appointment I guess. 😀

    1. Happy Birthday for Friday, Julian.

      Some people are so bloody rude. Doesn’t it make you want to push them back through the door and then gently let it close against them? See how they like that.

  37. Hello again, Fed.

    I wanted to share a link with all of you irregular people. I hope you like it, and hope it works for you. I think it’s great like a blast from the past, yet it’s new. Very Beach Boyish.

    Family Trees – ‘Dream Talkin’. Even the name is cool. 😛

  38. Another one Fed:

    When you’re sleeping and someone walks in and turns light on! Like you’re not there.

    Hello! I’m not sleeping, just checking my eyelids for cracks. :/

  39. Few things for Room 101 would be:

    – People who borrow something and forget to return it
    – People who get pets that have no business getting them
    – People who wear their pants low with their underwear and ass crack hanging out (nobody needs to see that)
    – Winter in Michigan

    Hoss

  40. I battle my demons through working towards a positive standard, so here’s my list for Room 101: Christ, a lot of people would be there! 8|

    – Gossips: fun as it might seem, there’s always a negative backlash.
    – Those who give their own dogs haircuts (Oh dear: guilty as charged! 😛 )
    – Those who start unnecessary wars.
    – Those who refuse to look at the whole.
    – Those who refuse to learn from the lessons of the past.

  41. In no particular order:

    Over-ripe bananas
    Texting while driving
    Profanity
    Selfishness
    People who don’t think Monty Python is funny

    Telemarketers would have been on the list, but now I have caller ID… what a great invention!

  42. hello david,

    i don’t know if this is the right forum for my comment, but anyway i do hope that you get to read this.

    since being a young english lad growing up through the 70s 8) there was not really the media machine that there is today so good music was spread mostly by mouth, sometimes i think back to the days in my bedroom with a gramophone player. i usually remember slade, queen and pink floyd. now some 35years later it’s only really pink floyd and your solo material that has followed with me since then. i find your melodies soul soothing. i don’t seem to able to cope with a lot of music from today or from way back any more, but yours keeps me feeling like me.

    i would like to thank you for that which you have done and doing what you do, i was also born with a guitar in my hand and still play today self taught through hours and years or playing along.

    please never stop doing your music even if it may be tiring at times.

    all the best.

  43. Polly said: “People who don’t know that the right hand side of escalators is for walking, not standing”.

    That’s strictly for the UK. Do that it in Stockholm, you’ll be run over by stressed commuters, who are used to the notion that you stand on the right hand side and walk to the left!

  44. I thought it was the left hand side of the escalator that was for walking, not standing? If not then sorry if I got in your way.

    (Would agree with Fed here, this five is what hits me at this precise moment, could be different in 10 minutes…)

    1. The person at ITV2 who keeps green lighting ‘what Katie, or Peter, did next’
    2. David Cameron
    3. Cristiano Ronaldo
    4. Shortening names (Jedward anyone? Brangelina, J.Lo etc)
    5. Washing Up

  45. 😀

    1. The song “Umbrella”. Its a piece of toss that drives me mad. Its played everywhere… Arghh.

    2. The England Football Team – after that display in the World Cup, Room 101 is the only place for them.

    3. Pink Floyd Tribute Bands – please note: you are not PF, will never be PF, you bunch of over egotistical barm pots… into Room101 you go.

    4. Repeats of CSI etc etc – How many times does something have to be repeated?

    5. Housework. I just hate it.

    Love Denise

  46. Here goes…

    1. Cars that sit in the middle lane of a highway (motorway)
    2. People who do not indicate when turning in their car
    3. People who drive around sleeping policemen in parking lots
    4. People who are late
    5. Bad teeth
    6. Bad breath
    7. Dirty shoes
    8. Dirty fingernails
    9. When a restaurant is not busy the service is crap
    10. Text Language… no!! it`s not GR8!!!!
    11. Car drivers on their cellphone… the police should be allowed to use snipers to take them out!
    12. People working behind counters who don`t make eye-contact
    13. FaceBook… you will regret it!
    14. Twitter… what`s the point?
    15. Not wearing a belt with trousers
    16. Waistcoats with the bottom button done up
    17. Incorrect use of the word “Awesome”… the Grand Canyon is awesome not the fact that you have just managed to finish level 6 of some nerdy Video Game
    18. Short sleeved shirts… they are just wrong!
    19. Over hyped marketing ploys… Christmas Day, Fathers day, Mothers Day
    20. Cards for every occasion! Why???
    21. Supermarkets that don’t have enough checkouts open to meet demand… stop stacking shelves or chatting about how awesome it was to finish level six of a nerdy video game and go and open a checkout!
    22. People who can’t get up in the morning… go to bed earlier!

    To be continued…

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