Tommy Cooper

Apparently, depending on where you find these bizarre occasions listed, today is both International Moment of Laughter Day and International Stress Awareness Day. So, tell us a joke, include a link to something funny, and make us laugh.

Here’s Tommy Cooper with one of his most celebrated routines. What do you think? Was he one of the funniest of funny men? David certainly thinks so.

Your recommended stress-busting tips and techniques, if they’re as good as some of your others, would also make interesting reading; I’m sure I’m not the only one who would eagerly welcome your thoughts on everything from herbal teas and house plants, to racquet sports and recipes involving eggs.

If you’re having a particularly bad day today, or just need an excuse to take a break from whatever is aggravating you so that you can do something completely different for a moment or two, give this mildly-addictive balloon-popping game a try… and be sure to share your high scores with the rest of us.

Author: FEd

Features Editor of David Gilmour’s official blog, The Blog (‘Features’ previously being its rather naff title), affectionately – or lazily – shortened to ‘FEd’.

66 thoughts on “Tommy Cooper”

  1. Total Balloons Popped: 463
    Total Super Pops: 4

    I’m not sure if that’s good or bad. But was first try. :v

    To de-stress, listen to On An Island. Bet you never saw that suggestion coming! But my best stress maker AND stress buster is playing my guitar. And I’m sure listening to me makes other people laugh sometimes. So pretty much a 3 in 1 package.

    Q: Who invented King Arthur’s round table?
    A: Sir Circumference!

    Boom Boom, I’m here all week. :))

    1. But my best stress maker AND stress buster is playing my guitar. And I’m sure listening to me makes other people laugh sometimes.

      :)) The same for me!

  2. Thanks for the balloon game, I’ve tried it three times till now and I think I’ll go on. 😀

    If you have some minutes to spend, here is one of my favourite anti-stress videos.

    Hope you’ll enjoy it.

  3. After the Royal Variety Performance the artists who appeared all stood in line to meet the Queen. When she came up to Tommy he said to her, “Do you mind if I ask a personal question, Maam?” Her aides were all having a sweat at this point. She replied, “As personal as I’ll allow, Tommy”. He said, “Do you like football?”, she replied “Not really”.

    Tommy said, “Can I have your tickets to the cup final then?”

  4. Yes, I’ve played that game before and it is extremely addictive, for me. However I am now Poppit Zen Master. Thank you very much. 😀 But after several tries I’m sure everyone can be a Zen Master.

    He’s a funny character, that Tommy Cooper. I shall have to watch some more of him.

    International Moment of Laughter Day? Seriously? I laugh at least 40-50 times a day if not more and usually to the point where it’s difficult to breathe.

    And well, as for Stress Awareness Day, can you really have a racquet sport of any kind that is stress-free, particularly for those who like to win? Coming in second or losing, jumping up and down yelling, “I lost, I lost, I came in second, YAY!” That’s me!

  5. On another topic, David MacIlwaine, I love the piece on the front page. It looks superimposed.

    I tried making something a long time ago with wire and got nothing anywhere near recognizable to what was in my head. 8|

  6. i never knew david was a tommy cooper fan.

    i love tommy cooper, he’s the greatest ever. my favourite is his spoon-jar sketch. that never fails to crease me.

    from the 70s, i also liked the two ronnies and morecambe and wise, but tommy cooper was king.

    my best tip to beat stress is don’t work too hard!

  7. Thanks, FEd, I enjoyed the video. Steve Martin did the American counterpart. It’s called the Great Flydini. It’s pretty funny. It can be seen on YouTube.

    I think this one is hilarious.

    I have several stress-reducing methods and they get regular workouts. One is driving, preferably on an empty road. I especially love taking roads I’ve never been on before. Another is listening to smooth melodic jazz, no lyrics. I also like sitting at the water’s edge, whether rivers, lakes, or the ocean, any chance I get.

    1. I was laughing out loud on that one, FEd. I especially enjoyed the one who couldn’t be convinced there was a wall in front of her. She was determined to go left.

  8. I absolutely loved Tommy Cooper! Just hearing his name brings a big smile to my face.

    I used to work just down the road from his home – he used the same pub as we did – and it was during that period that he sadly died. Such a loss.

  9. Great topic FEd! I need a laugh today so this is perfect.

    There are so many classic comedy routines to chose from, I could be here all day thinking about them, but I love The Fast Show.

    Does anyone know what makes this so funny? It shouldn’t be funny, but it is. :))

    I go to the beach when I’m feeling stressed. The fresh air clears my head and the sound of the sea is very soothing.

    I liked the balloon game. My best score was 451 with 8 superpops.

    1. :)) I don’t know what makes it funny (I’m sure some people clicked in anticipation and are now wondering how we can find anything remotely amusing about it), but I still laugh at them all, even knowing what’s coming.

      The Prozac one was the best one.

    2. I need funny in my life right now, so far 2009 has been anything but humorous. Thanks to everyone for sharing their funny bits.

      I’ve just started exploring YouTube – it certainly is a diverse offering of stuff.

      The Britain’s Got Talent piece by the Scottish singer, Susan Boyle was very amazing. But typical of me, I have been worrying all week about this very unsophisticated lady being beaten up by the show business career she dreams about. I hope my concerns are baseless and she is met with the straightforward honesty that she gives out.

      Daughter’s joke: Last night I made an irony detector, but I think it’s broken, it detects everything but irony.

      Fed, here is a link that should give a chuckle.

    3. “I saw a sign that said ‘WATCH FOR CHILDREN’. I thought that sounds like a fair trade…” :))

      Thanks for that, Kimberley.

      I recall Jimmy Carr with something similar about a sign near a school that said ‘SLOW CHILDREN’.

  10. Tommy Cooper certainly had something… he was one of the few people who could make you laugh just by looking at him; it’s that state of permanent apparent confusion. Unfortunately he was probably let down by too much weak material.

    Talking of which (just for Ulli)…

    Two guys (Chuck and Wally) are out walking in the woods.

    Chuck – “Hey, we’d better be careful, Wally, this is Bear country.”

    Wally – “The secret is to be calm, proceed cautiously but keep talking softly so we don’t surprise them.”

    Chuck stops and gets some running shoes out of his rucksack and proceeds to put them on.

    Chuck – “These babies should give me an extra few yards, can’t be too careful Wally.”

    Wally – “Hey Chuck, putting running shoes on won’t do you any good. A bear can run as fast as a horse, you’ll never outrun one.”

    Chuck – “Sure thing Wally, but fact is, I only have to outrun you.”

    Another one that always made me chuckle from the Jokemeister himself, Bob Monkhouse:

    “When I die, I want to go like my old Dad, peacefully in my sleep. Not in a frenzy of screaming and panic like his passengers.”

    But for all out laughs you can’t beat something that isn’t intended to be funny – a pratfall or a shocking music video. Try this for size, you just couldn’t make it up.

    1. LOL Tim, you are too funny, and thanks for your bear joke, that is a Tim classic, ROFL.

      TY bunches for that video too, it really made my day! I think it will take days until I forget that sight and sound, ROFL. :))

  11. Love Tommy Cooper. Nothing today can get anywhere near his originality.

    My joke: “What’s white and wears a scarf? Rupert the fridge.”

    Stress is good, too much isn’t. Living without artificial aids at certain times as helped me. No TV, radio, music, computer. Listen to your skin, hear your heart and mind and talk to yourself. Perfect way to spend 5 minutes.

    Ian.

  12. This true story makes me chuckle.

    1973 England International soccer match…

    Sir Alf Ramsey (The Manager) tells Rodney Marsh (Player), “When you play for England you have to work harder, I’ll be watching you and if you don’t work harder I’ll pull you off at half-time.”

    Rodney Marsh replies, “Christ! At Manchester City all we get at half-time is a cup of tea and an orange.”

    Ayyy Thangew…

  13. There is a quote by Victor Hugo in ‘Les Misérables’: “Le rire, c’est le soleil, il chasse l’hiver du visage humain.” = something like “Laughter is the sun that drives winter from the human face.” It’s beautifully said, I think.

    Blonde joke:

    Q: What happens when a French blonde moves to Belgium?
    A: The average IQ of each of the two countries increases.

    Don’t be angry, Belgian friends (cheers, Ralph), you know you have the same silly jokes towards us, so, you can replace ‘French’ with ‘Belgian’ and ‘Belgium’ with ‘France’. No problem. 😛

    And I love cats, especially psychotic cats. 😉

    An anti-stress tip? The Blog, for sure.

    Michèle

  14. I’m not sure what my best score on the balloon game was: either 463 with 5 superpops or 449 with 8 superpops.

    This made me laugh.

  15. Aah, I just sat down and found funny stuff at YouTube now.

    This was from a Norwegian comedy show six years back. It’s an old Dutch stage act, so you’re not supposed to understand what he says, nobody in Norway does, but it’s just so funny. That TV show kind of reinvented Norwegian comedy.

    1. :)) It tickled me.

      It reminds me of The Fast Show and their ‘Chanel 9’ sketches, where the language was a combination of many languages with the most unsuitable English words included for added effect. Very silly.

      Here is their lottery show.

  16. One of the classics was Tim Conway on the Carol Burnett Show with Harvey Korman as the dentist – click here. I’m sure most have seen that one.

    Never heard of Tommy until now, quite a funny chap.

    Thanks David McIlwaine for your sculpture Wireman works.

  17. I’ve never heard of Tommy Cooper before, but here is something that really can cure a bad day, I think (turn on sound).

    It’s not humour, it’s just contagious.

    Have a fine weekend.

    1. That made me laugh so hard. :))

      I’ve enjoyed all the videos so far – thanks for sharing them.

      This is one of my favourites: George Bush bloopers.

  18. 😀

    I think David is probably the most gifted musician in the 20th and now 21st centuries. Songs from 35 years ago are still popular and are definitely on my hit list.

    Thanks David for all the hard work and great music. Your work is art that can’t be copied or denied.

    bob

  19. Tommy Cooper was such a brilliant comedian/magician. You couldn’t help but enjoy his performances. His demeanour always invoked belly laughs from me, whenever I watched him.

    The top comedians of the 60s & 70s were such household names. Morecambe & Wise, Benny Hill, Frankie Howard, Monty Python, etc. etc., the list goes on and on…

    This has to be one of the all time classic sketches.

    As for popping balloons, I could only manage a score of 468.

    1. :)) This video made me laugh a lot. It’s hard enough for me to understand all the words they say, but it doesn’t matter, because their faces speak.

  20. Dear F.Ed., I remember very well this bizarre artist of a long time ago, but funny man.

    Yes, sometime I find quite relaxing to cook something for the family (but not very much when there is obligation to do it…)

    So you could enjoy this eggs-Italian recipe: I’ll try it in the weekend.

    Burgher-Style Apple Frittata

    Prep Time: 20 minutes
    Cook Time: 40 minutes
    Ingredients: See Below

    Preparation: Cook four renette apples (a rather bittersweet north Italian variety that’s used primarily for cooking), peel and core them, and put them in a bowl with a half cup (100g) of sugar. Strip the crust from day-old bread and crumble a quarter cup of it finely. Mix it with 3 tablespoons of milk, and combine it with the apples, seasoning the mixture with a pinch of salt, and either cinnamon, grated orange zest, or grated lemon zest. Beat 6 eggs, combine them with the fruit, and make the frittata which you should dust with sugar upon removing it from the pan.

    Instead of apples, you can use ripe strawberries: they are perfect in this season.

    Buon appetito / Bon Appetit!

    Have a very nice week-end.

    Bye/ciao Elisabetta

  21. Still remember the performance he gave the night he died. When he fell back into the curtain people were laughing cos they thought it was part of the act.

    Two Aerials meet on a roof – fall in love – get married. The ceremony was rubbish but the reception was brilliant.

    Man goes to the doctor with a strawberry growing out of his head. Doc says, “I’ll give you some cream to put on it.”

    “Doc, I can’t stop singing the green green grass of home.”
    “That sounds like Tom Jones syndrome.”
    “Is it common?”
    “It’s not unusual.”

    “Doctor, I can’t pronounce my F’s, T’s and H’s.”
    “Well, you can’t say fairer than that, then.”

    Two elephants walk off a cliff… boom boom!

    Just like that.

  22. So he said, “I’m going to chop off the bottom of one of your trouser legs and put it in a library.” I thought, “That’s a turn-up for the books.”

    So a man jumps into a taxi and says “King Arthur’s Close” and the taxi driver says, “Don’t worry, we’ll lose him at the next lights.”

    So I was getting into my car, and this bloke says to me, “Can you give me a lift?” I said “Sure, you look great. The world’s your oyster, go for it.”

    So I went to the doctor and I said, “It hurts when I do this.” He said, “Don’t do it, then.”

  23. OK, here goes…

    Little Susie came home from school and walked into the kitchen, her Mother was washing dishes in the sink.

    Susie told her Mother that Little Johnny had showed her his willy and then she added that it was like a peanut.

    Susie’s Mother smiled inwardly and asked why she said it was like a peanut, thinking she meant it was small?

    Little Susie said, “Because it was salty.” 8|

  24. A guy goes into the bathroom to take a leak, and at the urinal next to him is a man half his size with a gigantic penis. The guy says, “What’s up with the gigantic penis?” The little guy says, “I’m a leprechaun, and that’s just a little something I wished upon me’self”.

    Quick thinking, the guy turns to him and says, “If you’re a leprechaun, maybe you could wish one of those upon me!” The leprechaun smiles and says, “I’d be glad to, but there’s a little something you’ll need to do for me first, you see, I’m kind of a funny leprechaun.” He then tells the man he’s going to have take down his pants and bend over so he can have his way with him for several hours. After refusing the man finally says, “OK! Let’s just get this over with.”

    When the leprechaun was done he turned to the man and said, “Do you mind if I ask you a little question?” The man said, “Sure, go ahead” and the leprechaun said…

    “Aren’t you a little old to be believing in leprechauns?”

  25. More Cooper classics…

    So I got home, and the phone was ringing. I picked it up, and said, “Who’s speaking, please?” And a voice said, “You are.”

    Two cannibals eating a clown. One says to the other, “Does this taste funny to you?”

    Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks. They charged one and let the other one off.

    A man walked into the doctors, he said, “I’ve hurt my arm in several places.” The doctor said, “Well don’t go to those places any more.”

    I ate a ploughman’s lunch the other day. He wasn’t very happy.

    I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day but couldn’t find any.

  26. Hope everyone is well. Sorry it’s been so long since I last posted or made a chat but I’ve been a bit snowed under with revision and searching for jobs.

    On a much happier (and slightly more surreal) note, this is probably my favourite bit of comedy ever performed.

  27. FOR SALE

    An antique desk suitable for lady with thick legs and large draws.

    Damian.

  28. 469 Total Baloons Popped / 9 Super Pops is my best result for now, but I’ve been also Zen Master once. 😀

    Anyway, if someone here has a stressed dog at home, here is another version of the game.

    1. Sure. It’s stressing to fight your stress when you can’t become Zen Master. 😉

  29. Hi Fed, here’s a few things that came to mind for today.

    Once upon a time, a guy asked a girl ‘Will you marry me?’

    The girl said, ‘NO!’

    And the guy lived happily ever after and rode motorcycles and went fishing and hunting and played golf a lot and drank beer and Scotch and left the toilet seat up and farted whenever he wanted. THE END.

    Two young boys walked into a pharmacy one day, picked out a box of tampons and proceeded to the checkout counter. The man at the counter asked the older boy, ‘Son, how old are you?’

    ‘Eight,’ the boy replied.

    The man continued, ‘Do you know what these are used for?’

    The boy replied, ‘Not exactly, but they aren’t for me. They’re for him. He’s my brother. He’s four. We saw on TV that if you use these you would be able to swim and ride a bike. Right now, he can’t do either.’

  30. Q- Two cows standing in a field, which one is on holiday?

    A- The one with the wee calf.

  31. Rembrandt walks into a bar and sees Van Gogh in the corner.

    “Vincent, can I get you a drink?”

    “No, it’s OK, I’ve got one ‘ere.”

  32. Hi FEd,

    Red Skelton was my favorite comic while I was growing up. Nowadays Robin Williams and Steve Martin fill the bill.

  33. LOL Fed, that was too funny. :))

    I remember the Benny Hill show from the 70s as hysterical, so far I am not familiar with any comedians from the UK today, but the British humor is renowned for a reason, LOL.

    HAPPY BIRTHDAY to Herbert, Herzlichen Glückwunsch zum Geburtstag und alles alles Gute!

  34. Q: You know what happens to BERLUSCONI if he takes Viagra?

    A: He gets taller.

  35. Here’s one of Tommy’s:

    Phone answering machine.

    “If you want to buy marijuana, press the hash key.”

  36. Q: What’s the difference between an oral thermometer and a rectal thermometer?

    A: The taste.

    I know that joke was hard to swallow, click here to help wash it down.

  37. An old Italian says to his grandson on his bed, “For my last wish, take my pearl handled Smith and Wesson gun.”

    The kid says, “Papa , I’d rather have your Rolex watch instead.”

    “Donna be stupid boy, you will take over the family business, have a big house and when you catcha your wife with another man, whatta you gonna do? Point the watch at him and say, Your time is up?” 8|

  38. A man goes to his psychiatrist and says, “Doctor, you gotta help me. This is very strange. I keep feeling like a dog!” The psychiatrist says, “How long have you felt this way?” The man says, “Ever since I was a puppy.”

    De-stressing techniques include soaking in a hot tub with “Wish You Were Here” playing on a boom box. For me, I love to go for a long walk outside. There’s a beautiful riverside park in the town where I live (Schenectady NY) and I’ll go walking there, watching the ducks and the canoers sharing the river. This stretch of river is also home to a blue heron, a pair of falcons, and several flocks of gulls. There is nothing like it to clear my head, and the longer my walk is, the clearer my head gets. Sometimes I’ll even walk to there from my home about three miles away. It’s the best way to spend an afternoon.

  39. I was lucky enough to see Tommy Cooper live, I’m afraid I just did not get his humour. I felt I was missing something everyone around me seemed to crying with laughter. I had seen him on TV before and somehow thought that by seeing him live I would find him funny. Oh well, there’s no accounting for taste.

    I am enjoying the YouTube links and my wife is even scrolling through enjoying the cute animal links.

    Two snowmen in a field, one sniffs in the air and says to the other, “Can you smell carrots?”

  40. Sorry I know this isn’t the right place to post this – but this is my first blog experience, so cut me some slack and tell me how I can better communicate this if you would be so kind. =)

    I’d just LOVE to get my hands on (or ears on) a disc composed solely of the various Barn and Island Jams from David’s recent library! I recently saw the Gdansk work and immediately fell in love with the JAM tracks – and got stoked to see that they were labelled by numbers ranging up in the hundreds! How cool would it be to get to hear these talented artists creating on the fly for more than just a couple barn jams and a single Island jam???

    Surely I am not alone in simply loving instrumental music and particularly when it includes the incredible guitar work of most gifted expresser of musical passion of all time!

    David, would you please make my day and put out a disc of this nature? I’m certain you could sell enough to make it a profitable venture!

    Also, thanks to the artists behind the scenes who took the time to produce these tracks so very nicely! When you have thousands of dollars into a high end music system, it’s a bit disconcerting that most producers seem to be making music designed to sound good on a cheap jam box!

    Fed – thanks to you too for your good work here!

    All the best…
    Jim

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