Your limericks

Guy PrattThank you all for sending in your “There once was a Guy who played bass…” limericks.

It wasn’t easy to choose the best, as there were so many good ones.

So, we took the coward’s way out.

Guy and I chose 15 of our favourites, put 15 names into a hat and picked two. The first name pulled out at random wins a signed copy of Guy’s new book, ‘My Bass and Other Animals’, and one of his very own ‘Didn’t They Do Well?’ T-shirts, as worn throughout the ‘On An Island’ tour and voted by you recently to be one of the tour’s most memorable images.

The second name drawn also wins a signed copy of said book.

So, congratulations to Veronica from Miami for being the first name drawn, and to Ayako, our runner-up.

Please let us know where we should send your prizes.

If it’s any consolation, our other favourites were sent in by (this is in alphabetical order, not order of preference): AxPxM88, Cemet Nosce, Geoff Duffy, Gary Hurley, KenF, George Maciver, Marco, Mike from Michigan, Frank Par, Steve, Christine T., Tim Taylor and Knut Arne Vedaa.

Considering how many excellent entries there were, making it onto the short-list was, in itself, quite an achievement.

Thank you all for making us chuckle.

If you didn’t win, you’ll still want a copy of the book, I’m sure.

‘My Bass and Other Animals’ will be released later this month, published by Orion Books.

My thanks again to Guy for kindly giving up his time and clothing, not to mention two copies of what promises to be a fine book.

Author: FEd

Features Editor of David Gilmour’s official blog, The Blog (‘Features’ previously being its rather naff title), affectionately – or lazily – shortened to ‘FEd’.

72 thoughts on “Your limericks”

  1. Thanks to everyone for the birthday wishes. I had a great day with the kids…now to the antics that happen after dark, drinking and mischief that is…

    Renee B.
    Fontana, Ca USA

  2. Congratulations to the winners! And also to the others 13 unlucky but great poets!

    L!

  3. Well, I’m buying the book regardless. It’s not like I just wanted free things…

    Anyway, congrats to Veronica and Ayako. Yay for limericks. We should do these more often!

  4. Congrats Veronica!! Enjoy the Book!

    WooHoo!! My name was mentioned On the Blog!! That to me is the best gift I could ever receive (although the book would have been nice, lol)

  5. well done the limerick winners and the people who got an honourable mention . nice one !

    cheers
    Linda

  6. well done to veronica and ayako. 🙂

    picking names out of a hat is the only way to go. there were too many great limericks. how do you define ‘best’ anyway?

    thanks guy and fed. you did the right thing. i really enjoyed reading everyone’s limerick.

  7. Well done to the winners and short listers. This was a great comp, gave me countless hours (alright then, minutes) of fun writing and reading. I don’t think I’ve done that much poetry since school and yes, in case your wondering that WAS years ago.

    I guess I’ll just have to go and buy the book now (DOH!), F’ed – can you tell us the exact release date for the UK?

    Who knows, maybe I’ll get a chance for a signing when I see Guy’s show in June. Can’t wait!

    [Things are going to get busier soon, believe me. – Features Editor]

    Hmmmm….intriguing, looking forward to seeing what else you’ve got up your sleeve for us F’ed.

    [I’ve heard that there’s been a slight delay in its release, Yorkie, but will try to get a definitive release date for you if I can. – Features Editor]

  8. Congratulations, Veronica & Ayako!!! And to all the other runner-ups.

    That was really a fun contest. Thank you FEd & Guy!!!

    ~Susan

  9. Congrats to the winners and the finalists!

    And thanks to Guy for being a great….guy…. you know what I mean.

  10. Way to go to the winners of the ‘There was a Guy who played bass’ contest. You all did a great job.

    The pick of the hat was the only way to go, for all 15 were great.

    Take Care
    Thomas

  11. Wow! I’m thrilled!

    I never seem to have any luck when it comes to contests and the sort… I’m so happy!

    Thank you so much, Guy, and FEd, and everybody!

    YAY! 😀

    This is my address: […]

    [Well done, Ayako. We hope you’ll enjoy Guy’s book. – Features Editor]

  12. I’m curious as to why you liked the poems that you did? Speaking to Guy and FEd.

    Jessica

    [I can’t speak for Guy and don’t think I can answer for myself (why do people like certain colours more than others?), but trying to keep the shortlist down to 15 wasn’t easy. – Features Editor]

  13. Way to go Veronica and Ayako!

    All the limericks were a lot of fun to read.

    A big thanks to Guy for taking time to play along with us.

    I’m sure we’re all going to grab the book as soon as we can get our hands on it.

  14. Congrats going out to all the winners and runners up…. I loved reading those and had quite the many chuckle(s)…

    Hey FEd, would love to see more of those types of competitions… might even throw my hat into the ring next time out!

    Kudos,
    Darren

  15. Well done Ayoko and Veronica. Guess I’ll be buying the book “just in case”.

    Thanks Fed and Guy. I’m honoured, truly.

  16. Here’s a bit of trivia I’ve heard today.

    What song on The Wall has a hidden reverse tape message in it? Empty Spaces. Anyone hears it let me know. The first word should be Congratulations.

  17. I am stunned when I read my name on the Blog to be the winner of the “priceless” t-shirt and the “signed” copy of Guy’s new book.

    I never won anything before. “Lucky Star” must be with me today. I am very fortunate to be picked among so many great limerick writers here on the Blog, let alone from the final 15.

    Guy Pratt: Thank you very much for your generosity. FEd: Thanks for coming up with such a creative and entertaining game; most importantly, the valuable time from you and Guy.

    Here’s my address where you can send my desirable prizes: […]

    [Many congratulations, Veronica. I hope you’ll like your prizes. – Features Editor]

  18. Congrats to Veronica & Ayako… Didn’t they do well.

    I’m chuffed to have made the shortlist, thanks Guy(s).

    Sorry you missed out on the Syd Tribute, Guy. I’m now feeling like you did.

    Inconsolable KenF.

  19. Congrats to the winners, very well done, and commiserations to everyone who lost out. It was a great competition.

    I’m definitely buying the book, Guy.

  20. Congrats Veronica and Ayako and it’s with pride I take my honourable mention. Thank you sir.

    Rgds Geoff Duffy ( Dublin )

  21. Thank you to everyone who took part. It was fed’s idea…

    Leo Abrahams who plays with me with Bryan Ferry came up with this..

    There once was a Guy who played bass
    He did fills all over the place.
    He got sacked from Pink Floyd
    His career was destroyed
    and now he’s a tech for Black Lace.

    xx
    Guy

  22. Happy Friday,

    Well done to the Limerick 15. It must be the Irish in you.

    Rudders, you had no chance. Too much Welsh in you.

    Pete – Coventry

  23. FED, next Sunday i will start for Atene for a short holiday and for the final, so, good luck and tell me now your forecast…..

    But David will support Milan or Liverpool?

    ciao.
    Claudio da Ravenna

    [David will be supporting Liverpool, I hope! He might find that the blog’s mysteriously down if he doesn’t… In all seriousness, I really wouldn’t dare to make a prediction because I wouldn’t wish to tempt fate. Milan are fantastic and destroyed Manchester United in the semi-final (which I hated seeing and didn’t enjoy at all, honest). There’s no doubt that they could do the same to Liverpool. However, my boys can beat anyone on their day. I just hope that Wednesday is their day. Enjoy both match and holiday, Claudio (I hope you enjoy your holiday more, though). – Features Editor]

  24. Guy,

    I would be very worried had that limerick finished with the line

    ‘and now he dresses in Black Lace.’

    Pete – Coventry

  25. CAPTION:

    In a serious yet inspirational speech, Guy Pratt calls on The Limerick-15 to be his “Knights of the Rhyme Table”…

    Inspiration: Coventry Pete

  26. Leo gave a limerick to you
    for us to all have a goo
    he mentioned black lace
    with a smile on his face
    tell me how is your agadoo

    Rgds Geoff Duffy ( Dublin )

    Sorry

  27. In the vein of lyrical prowess, I have to put out there that there is something sacreligious about a new Madonna tune with the title “Hey You”…

    I know you can’t copyright a song name (at least I don’t think), but in terms of thematic content it seems like a ripoff of more than just title.

    Good music is more than just a good melody. I like music that makes you think, and good lyrics provoke thought. It’s an art form that is lost these days in the business of mass appeal I’m afraid…and in the dumbing down of societal attention span.

    Here’s to the artists and writers that provoke thought and promote creative depth.

  28. I have never, ever won anything in my entire life, and I am certainly glad I don’t have to start now at my advanced age.

    So, congrats to Veronica and Ayako!

    I’m off to that place you order books, as I must have a copy!

    George

  29. Congrats to Veronica and Ayako!!!

    What a way to end the week – thanks Fed and Guy.

    Just another reason why this is THE site on the internet!

    Have a great weekend everyone!
    Cheers

  30. There once was a Guy who played bass
    Who drew names for win, show and place
    Choosing Ayako and Ronnie
    Made them feel quite bonny
    And put a huge smile on their face!

    Congrats to Veronica and Ayako!

    Thanks also to F*Ed and Guy…that was a cool contest 🙂

    [There will be more, so stay tuned. – Features Editor]

  31. Hey congratulations to Veronica and Ayako as well as the 13 others selected!

    My personal favorite was Tim Taylor’s…he nailed the right combination of rhythm and humor (kinda’ like Guy, actually).

  32. Congrats to the winners of the contest. I guess i will be buying the book, i cant wait.

    Thank You Guy for being generous with your time.

    Hope everyone has a great weekend.

    Clarice

  33. To Frank Par…

    I believe the message reads: “Congratulations you’ve found the secret message. Please send your answers to Old Pink care of the Daisy Hill Funny Farm.”

    Of course that’s according to my feeble memory and we’re going back waaaay too many years so…don’t put any money down on the accuracy of that!

  34. Hi Fed

    I read Claudio’s entry to the Blog. Why did you not advise him to stay at home??????????

    I hope David will be behind the red men. Tell him I’ll wave from behind the Goal. Haaaaaaaaaaaa

    P.S well done to all of the limerick entries. I do hope that I will have a big SMILE on wednesday.

    A small ditty before I go:

    There once was a team all in red
    In Athens AC were put to bed
    Stevie G was 1st class
    Scoring goals for the lads
    While Gilmour sang out loud for our Fed

    [When you come back, I’m hoping that your name will be ‘6 Times’. Enjoy. – Features Editor]

  35. Congratulations to Veronica and Ayako. I enjoyed reading everyone’s efforts.

    A good weekend to all,

  36. Congratulations to Veronica & ayako! Well done! And congratulations to all the finalists as well.

    FEd & Guy had a very difficult task in rounding up the finalists, for sure. I really enjoyed reading all the entries.

    Happy Weekend, everyone!

  37. Hey Guy,

    Good to see you getting your fellow professionals to contribute a limerick.

    FEd, when can we expect to see contributions from David et al…

    Nice effort from Leo though. Didn’t he “AGADOO” well! (Thought I’d get in 1st with the cheesy pun)

  38. Congratulations to the final 15; and especially to Veronica & Ayako!

    Also, thank you Guy for taking the time to read through all of them and selecting your favorites – even if mine didn’t make the cut. I can’t wait to see what FEd unleashes next!

  39. Congrats to the winners, it must have been a very hard job to decided the winners.

  40. Congrats Veronica and Ayako – if I knew where you lived I’d hijack the postman 🙂

    Also well done to everyone else, twas a laugh. Great idea FEd – keep ’em coming.

    Guy – any chance of bringing your show to Dublin? Between Mr. G and yourself, it’s costing me a fortune travelling to the UK! Maybe there’s some sort of gig grant I can apply for??

    Great weekend all!!

  41. Guy and FEd had a limerick chat
    Picking the winner caused quite a spat
    They narrowed it down to fifteen
    The winner couldn’t be seen
    So they opted to draw from a hat.

  42. Hi Fed,

    Congrats to Veronica and Ayako. Enjoy your prizes.

    Congrats to the fellow bloggers to make the short list. There were so many good entries to choose from, and I would not have wanted to be the one who had to choose the best.

    Thank you, Fed, and Guy, for considering mine for the short list. Yes, it is a great consolation, and it made my weekend. I just about fell out of my chair when I read my name. Thanks again.

    A contest for girls and guys,
    A book and a shirt was the prize
    I may not have won,
    But I still had fun
    And this was a pleasant surprise

    Have a great weekend, all
    Mike

  43. Congrats to the 2 fellow bloggers for winning, and for us 13 on the shortlist better luck next time!

    Gary Hurley.
    London England.

  44. I wrote a Limerick for Guy
    When I lost I started to cry
    When the lads had a look
    They thought mine was muck
    A copy I’ll now have to buy 🙂

  45. Guy Pratt, FEd and everyone, thanks again for the prizes. I will be taking good care of this t-shirt – I feel obligated.

    I don’t mean to rub it in, now I am debating, should I wear it (it should fit me, shouldn’t it? You are pretty slender, Guy) or to frame it – the t-shirt is sure valuable?

    Look what you’ve done, FEd, this game is contagious.

    There once was a limerick contest on Guy Pratt
    The idea came from a creative Feature Ed.
    Designed to bring out everyone’s finest and best
    It so turned out they are all the very best
    And lucky Veronica, her name got picked from a hat.

    Thanks a bunch!

  46. So you were sacked by the floyd
    but not too long unemployed
    now in benidorm with black lace
    making bucks fizz look ace
    definitely a must to avoid,

    you are ……………………..

    you are a brickwork of floyd
    even if yer man gets annoyed
    from a momentary lapse of reason
    to a fecking holiday season
    not in my lifetime I cried

    Rgds Geoff Duffy ( Dublin )

    ps I echo Brian’s come to Dublin call out. Cheeky me

  47. I’m very, very happy for you, Veronica and Ayako, well done! and enjoy your prize!

    That game was great fun and I hope there will be other ones in the future (even without any prize)!

    Michèle

  48. Hi FEd,

    I just wanted to thank Polly and Charlie for the article they did in The Guardian, regarding what teenagers are doing.

    I’ve been having some issues with my daughter and wasn’t sure how to handle it. The article really helped me.

    Thank you, Polly and Charlie, for being so honest and sharing your life with the public. I hope for the kind of close relationship, you two have, when my kids get to be teenagers.

    Thanks to EchoesBob for letting me know of the article, as well.

    The more I learn about the Gilmours, the more I like them.

    ~Erin

  49. Hey congratulations to Veronica and Ayako and the rest of the winners! Job well done!

    Lookin’ forward to the next contest…

    Love to all in DG world–

    Elizabeth

  50. Buffalo Phil said: “My personal favorite was Tim Taylor’s…he nailed the right combination of rhythm and humor (kinda’ like Guy, actually)”

    Wow! What a compliment Phil!!! There were a LOT of really good ones posted, so to hear that really is cool! Thanks!

    Congrats to the winners!

    Fed, I’d like to go back and read which ones you and Guy selected… in fact maybe you could post the contenders again all in one place so we could all re-read your favs???

    Have a great weekend all!

    Tim

    [I don’t know about posting them again in one place, but they’re easy to find. – Features Editor]

  51. Way to go, Veronica and Ayako! And to everyone else in the Honourable Mention category.

    This was great fun.

    Becky

  52. Hello all,

    Congratulations to Veronica and ayako.

    Personally I wasn’t able to find a poet in me to enter, but I was impressed what other not everyday English speaking people sent in.

    Have a wonderful weekend all,
    Tomasz

    Caption: Guy: What do you want from me?

  53. Looking at the picture above of Guy, reminds me of when i first got the PULSE DVD (few months ago). I didn’t know who he was so I thought he was David’s son. He looks 18 in that concert, sorry!!!

  54. Hearty Congratulations to Veronica and Ayako.

    I definitely feel like a winner too – thanks very much for an honorable mention Fed and Guy, it’s greatly appreciated!

    Have a great weekend everyone 🙂
    Take Care. CT

  55. Congratulations winners and runners up!

    Had a great time reading the entries. Thank you for the fun and great way to select the winners.

    Thanks especially to Guy and F’Ed.

    I’ll be in line to buy the book. I’m sure it’s going to be a good read.

    Have a great weekend all,
    jan

  56. [Fed, I’d like to go back and read which ones you and Guy selected… in fact maybe you could post the contenders again all in one place so we could all re-read your favs??? – tim taylor]

    Tim, seeing as I’m such a nice person, I’ll give you the two winning entries.

    There once was a Guy who played bass…
    His fingers storm, as if handling lace…
    He owns a special t-shirt of everyone’s desire
    And a new book that’s bound to be “on fire”
    Cheers Guy! Wish you all the best in upcoming days.

    – Veronica

    There once was a Guy who played bass,
    With always a smirk on his face;
    Even though he seemed hazy,
    And perhaps a bit crazy,
    His wit never ceased to amaze!

    – Ayako

  57. Veronica and Ayako!!! You both did very well!

    Congratulations… Sylvie de Montréal

  58. This is not a limerick, but I thought I’d share…

    Roses are red/
    violets, they’re blue/
    Guy Pratt is awesome/
    doo be doo be doo…

    😀 You may also use Dick Parry, Rick Wright, Nick Mason, El Magnifico, etc… and of COURSE David Gilmour.

    I read Polly’s article, and WOW! So impressed. I hope I can be that open and honest with my kids. I’ve read very little about her and that just shot my respect for her through the roof!

    Polly, I love you! You amaze me!

  59. congrats to ayako & veronica, and the other 12 honorable mentions!!

    great time had by all!! thank you fed & guy!!

    -cemet

  60. FEd, seeing as I’m such a sad person, I’ll give you the other 13 contenders…

    There once was a Guy who played Bass
    He played the best Bass in the Place
    He would lay down a beat
    And tap with his feet
    That Guy Was an Ace with his Bass – AxPxM88

    There once was a Guy who played bass
    Who plucks with a perfect pluck pace
    He plucks all the time
    Because plucking is fine
    This Guy cannot be replaced – Cemet Nosce

    There once was a guy who played bass
    and I for one think he ace
    and since 87
    he has had me in heaven
    but your trainers do need a lace……. – Geoff Duffy

    There once was a guy who played bass
    But he wore his trainers without a shoe lace
    So the day he tripped over his guitar pedal
    When playing “Echoes” from the L.P. Meddle
    He carried on playing like a true ace. – Gary Hurley

    There once was a Guy who played bass
    And other animals, all of them ace
    Didn’t he do well
    With all the stories he doth tell
    And always with a smile on his face – KenF

    There once was a guy who played bass
    Who replaced his bass with a plaice
    Said David that’s pish
    Playing bass with a fish
    Said Guy, I don’t care, shut your face. – George Maciver

    There one was a Guy who played bass
    And everyone agreed the chap was quite ace
    He played with Feryy, Madonna and Floyd
    And then wrote a book that might make them paranoid
    Ah, but he was a guy who would never put anyone out of place – Marco

    There once was a Guy who played Bass
    Four, five, and six strings, an ace
    Now a book he has, too
    That he’ll sign just for you
    And send it right up to your place – Mike from Michigan

    There was once a Guy who played bass.
    He toured with David all over the place.
    They told him he was funny.
    Now he’s going to make money.
    I am buying the book just in case – Frank Par

    There once was a Guy who played bass
    His singing and playing were great
    No scowling does he
    Just fun comedy
    No doubt his book lands in first place – Steve

    There once was a Guy who played bass
    Multiple artists’ stages he does grace
    Author of ‘My Bass and Other Animals’
    Comedy and blogs among his credentials
    So many great talents to embrace! – Christine T.

    There once was a Guy who played bass
    Him we could never replace
    For it seems to me
    And we all agree
    He plays better than ol’ What’s-His-Face – Tim Taylor

    There one was a Guy who played bass
    Grooving all over the place
    In London, Paris, Rome and Toronto
    Fingerstyle, pickstyle, slap – loudly; pronto!
    Always a smile on his face – Knut Arne Vedaa

    Thanks to Erin (and FEd for providing the link) bringing the Guardian article by Polly and Charlie to our attention. It was a fascinating, revealing read.

  61. A slightly belated “Congratulations” to Veronica & Ayako. Didn’t they do well.

    I like Leo’s limerick as well, but is it true, a Black Lace comeback? where can I buy a ticket?

    I’ve been watching some of Bryan Ferry’s live appearances on TV. There is Guy, as reliable as ever (seen it, done it, worn the shirt), there is Leo (cool, tasty licks) and the new wonderkid Oliver Thompson (who is chomping at the bit, looking every part like the next rock god), but I love Chris Spedding who is taking it all in his stride with an air of total nonchalance.

    As well as being a great Guy, he’s certainly fortunate to be playing alongside another top band of real quality musicians.

    Jeremy

  62. Thanks Ken, that was nice to see all the entrants involved. Didn’t you do well.

  63. That Polly-Charlie article was great! As someone who works with teens and their families, it was quite refreshing…

    And quite hilarious!!!

    Let’s see how I handle it when the tables are reversed in a few years and I’M the parent of a teen….

  64. Fet Ed spoke like this :

    [I wouldn’t wish to tempt fate. Milan are fantastic and destroyed Manchester United in the semi-final (which I hated seeing and didn’t enjoy at all, honest). There’s no doubt that they could do the same to Liverpool]

    I bet it upset you….. Not! i bet you enjoyed yesterday too!

    Seriously though I will be hoping Liverpool win, as it is a nice to see an English team win in Europe even though I like them as much as you like united!

    Brian spoke thusly:

    [Guy – any chance of bringing your show to Dublin? Between Mr. G and yourself, it’s costing me a fortune travelling to the UK! Maybe there’s some sort of gig grant I can apply for??]

    Hey Brian. Nice to see another Dubliner here. Geoff Duffy and myself are no longer the only ones! You are right about wanting Guy to come to Ireland. I do too. I was looking around to see if the bulmers comedy festival was on this year but all I can get is the 2006 site. I think I need the gig grant also.

    I am travelling to see Marillion next month and Fish in September if all goes well. It does cost a fortune to travel to the UK. In sterling euro exchange especially.

    peace
    Linda

    [Linda, do you know, I didn’t even see it? I only have bad memories of this year’s FA Cup. I still twitch uncontrollably whenever I see that yellow away shirt of Arsenal’s. – Features Editor]

  65. [Good music is more than just a good melody. I like music that makes you think, and good lyrics provoke thought. It’s an art form that is lost these days in the business of mass appeal.]

    You couldn’t have said it better, Angelo. Unfortunately, most of the music these days is superficial and lacks its substance, soul and essence. That’s my 2-cents.

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