Book/T-shirt contest



The winners are… Veronica from Miami and Ayako.

Veronica, you win a signed copy of Guy’s new book, ‘My Bass and Other Animals’, and one of his original ‘Didn’t They Do Well?’ T-shirts, as worn throughout the ‘On An Island’ tour.

Ayako, you also win a signed copy of Guy’s book.

Congratulations to you both.

Please let us know where we should send your prizes by leaving a message in the usual manner, including your full name and address. Needless to say, your details will not be published and are perfectly safe.

Following on from the competition we had back in October to win tickets to see Guy’s critically-acclaimed stand-up show, ‘My Bass and Other Animals’, we now have a pristine copy of his rib-tickling new book – also entitled ‘My Bass and Other Animals’ and available in all good (UK) shops later this month – to give away.

According to his publisher, the book "is a witty and revealing, but heartfelt, memoir of life at the sharp end of the music business," but we think it’s just another chance for Guy to make us all throw our heads back and gawp open-mouthed at wild stories from his days on the road with the likes of Pink Floyd, Roxy Music and so many others.

Not only will you be one of the first to get your hands on a copy of the book, but Pink Floyd’s Comedic Genius will write a personal message inside, just for you. And, as if that’s not enough, he’ll also throw in one of his very own ‘Didn’t They Do Well?’ T-shirts, voted by you to be one of the iconic images of David’s ‘On An Island’ tour.

It’s the real McCoy, as worn on stages across Europe and North America, straight from the man’s back (and, we hope, his washing machine).

To be in with a chance of winning both book and T-shirt, simply send in a simple five-line limerick starting with the line, "There once was a Guy who played bass…"

Limericks – such as this one, from Edward Lear’s 1861 ‘Book of Nonsense’ – have a distinctive beat pattern:

There was an Old Man in a tree,
Who was horribly bored by a Bee;
When they said, "Does it buzz?"
He replied, "Yes, it does!"
"It’s a regular brute of a Bee!"

It can be silly, sad, or serious, but nothing rude or risqué, please.

One entry allowed per person only.

You have until Wednesday 16 May to send in your best effort.

We’ll announce the winner next Thursday (17 May) and will request your full name and address then, so please don’t include any personal details with your competition entry.

Our thanks to Guy for his kindness and the very best of luck to all.

The chatroom will be open tomorrow between 1PM and 3PM (UK).

Author: FEd

Features Editor of David Gilmour’s official blog, The Blog (‘Features’ previously being its rather naff title), affectionately – or lazily – shortened to ‘FEd’.

194 thoughts on “Book/T-shirt contest”

  1. There once was a Guy who played bass
    Who was considered a man of class
    When asked to play with the band
    he said “I will, but make this stand:”
    “I’ll not venture outside Jazz”

  2. Here’s a quickie from me just to help get the creative juices flowing (NB: this isn’t my entry, just something I knocked together to see if I could get the meter right, which I didn’t…hence not my entry!). Also the first line is slightly changed which I also assume would rule me out.

    Going to have a LOT of fun with this… 🙂

    Anyhow, here’s something to amuse whilst we’re all thinking up our limericks :

    There once was a Guy who played basses
    Who always put smiles on faces
    Deadly with charm
    He’ll do you no harm
    But will always add groove in places.

    Happy Wednesday 🙂


  3. [simply send in a simple five-line limerick…]

    ‘simply’ ??? you have a great sense of humour !

    I didn’t know what a ‘limerick’ was, I didn’t even understand ‘a distinctive beat pattern’, so I looked on wikipedia, and that’s what I read:

    [A limerick is a five-line poem with a strict meter, popularized by Edward Lear. The rhyme scheme is usually “A-A-B-B-A”. The first, second, and fifth lines are three metrical feet; the third and fourth are two metrical feet (One metrical foot is equal to 3 syllables; the line pattern goes 9-9-6-6-9). The foot used is usually the amphibrach, a stressed syllable between two unstressed ones.]

    LOL ! I couldn’t have understood less if it had been written in Chinese !

    Sorry, I can’t play that game, I give up ! Good luck to you all !

    Lucia ! Fed is laughing at us !


    [All that ‘rhyme scheme’, ‘amphibrach’ and ‘metrical feet’ lark is complicated, but as long as you follow the example set out above (so that the first line rhymes with the second and the final lines – bass, face, place, grace, space, chase, etc. – whilst the third and fourth lines also rhyme with a word of your own choosing), you’ll be fine. I’m sure you could do it, ma belle. – Features Editor]

  4. Great competiton and will think of something deep and meaningful

    In the meantime whats Glassman doing then? On hols??? He dont bend!

    [Wireman will be doing different things from time-to-time. – Features Editor]

    Ian Pearson

    [Glassman is still playing his guitar (talk about a conscientious student!), but he’s looking forward to reading Guy’s new book – all 304 pages of it. He says that it’s priced at a very reasonable £12.99 and promises to be a real treat for anyone with an interest in music, so we should all buy a copy. He feels that it would make an ideal gift, too. – Features Editor]

  5. There once was a Guy who played bass
    For some bands all over the place.
    He plucked and he slapped
    Yet he never tapped.
    Would *you* get in Mike Manring’s face?

  6. There once was a Guy who played bass.
    His hands danced fast he was such an ace.
    Then asked a handsome man who plays guitar and sings:
    “Can you dance on stage while dancing with your strings?”
    Guy replied: “You can be sure I can dance with my bass!”

  7. There once was a Guy who played bass,
    he liked to pluck the strings with his face,
    he never used his hands,
    despite the screaming of his fans,
    except when they sprayed him with mace…

  8. Happy Wednesday,

    Hope this one is OK

    “There once was a Guy who played bass…”
    He had the touch of an amazing grace
    His Dad also made life less dull
    With songs such as such as Little White Bull
    They really know how to put a smile on a face

    Pete – Coventry

  9. CAPTION: Careful with the axe, Guy.

    Yeah, I know predictable or what, but I had a go anyway.

    There once was a Guy who played bass,
    who had a silly grin on his face,
    when all he could see
    was you and me
    jiving all over the place.

    Best regards


  10. “There once was a Guy who played bass
    With the biggest of grins on his face
    Like the little white bull
    All the tricks he did pull
    With a bravery, style and grace”

  11. There once was a Guy, who played bass,
    who wrote a book for just in case,
    the band would stop and say:
    “With unlaced shoes, that’s no way to play.
    You find yourself another place.”

  12. Read in conjunction with the photo…

    There once was a Guy who played bass
    His technique was unusual but ace
    He’d play upside down
    With a grin and a frown
    That crazy young Guy who played bass!

  13. There once was a guy who played bass
    But he wore his trainers without a shoe lace
    So the day he tripped over his guitar pedal
    When playing “Echoes” from the L.P. Meddle
    He carried on playing like a true ace.

    Gary Hurley.
    London England.

  14. [Lucia ! Fed is laughing at us ! – Michèle]

    Talk for you Michèle. I am sure I will write a wonderful limerick, because of my deep, poetic spirit.

    No, you are right my french friend: I will be a donkey as and more than you! We could try to write it together: maybe a french head added to an italian head, make one “almost english” head!


    [Go on, have a go. – Features Editor]

  15. There once was a Guy who played bass
    Who wielded his axe like a mace
    The groove was so heavy
    We were floored with the bevy
    Of riffs being thrown in our face.

    Lots of fun.


  16. “There once was a Guy who played bass
    With a precision and passionate pace
    He out classed the many
    Considered just “ten a penny”
    And whom David could never replace”

  17. There once was a Guy who played bass
    Who wielded his axe like a mace
    While tickling our ribs
    ‘Bout his trials and trib’s
    Had a sly foxy grin on his face

  18. There once was a Guy who played bass
    He Wore a T shirt all over the Place
    When asked is it pink?
    He replied with a wink
    I got it from Gilmour’s Emporium

  19. There once was a Guy who played bass
    That carries a crafty smile upon his face
    He reminded us they did well
    Of course they were swell
    So cheers to all and my enhanced book case

  20. There once was a Guy who played bass…
    He always had a smile on his face….
    They ask can he play? Hell Ya!!! Anyday…
    And can make you laugh along the way…
    This very special Guy who plays Bass….

    Hope everyone is having a great week so far. Hope to talk to you all soon in chatroom.


  21. there once was a guy who played bass,
    i always thought he was ace;
    now he’s written a book,
    i just must have a look,
    and make room for it on my bookcase.

    fed, great contest.

    thanks guy!!! i will be buying a copy of this book if i win or not. i’m really looking forward to it.

    the t-shirt is a great extra. a true collector’s item from an amazing tour. very kind of you to give it up, guy. all the best to you. x

  22. Don’t laugh please because I’m italian and maybe for me it’s a little harder 🙂

    There once was a Guy who played bass,
    who always ran on the grass,
    playing it for hours days and years,
    he really realized how hard it is
    but he finally found those sweet melodies.

    Guy, I know it’s not so good but it’s just a thought for you!


  23. hmmm….In Italy we have something similar “il sonetto”.

    “Voi che per l’occhi mi passaste il core
    e destaste la mia mente che dormia
    guardate a l’angosciosa vita mia
    chè sospirando la distrugge Amore”.

    Rhyme is A-B-B-A. this is just the beginning of a medieval sonnet by Cavalcanti.

    The rhyme must be real. Not the sound but the words themselves must rhyme, unlike in English language (cause in Italy we read as we write).

    I try this because it’s funny. And in the medieval style of love…..

    There once was a Guy who played bass
    he was really such a strange case
    as he strummed with Pink Floyd really right
    and he loved this girl Gala Wright
    OH Lord, Love had such mysterious ways!!

  24. Too funny… let’s go ! mais je pensais que ‘bass’ se prononçait comme ‘basse’ en Français, pas comme [beis], so, you have to accept my NEW RULE for the pronunciation, please !

    There once was a Guy who played bass
    Like that lunatic on the grass
    But Guy was more funny
    He had more irony
    Roger, be sure, Guy has more class

    Wow ! 8-8-6-6-8 ! correct ? Don’t laugh at me, please !


  25. Hi Fed,

    There once was a Guy who played Bass
    Four, five, and six strings, an ace
    Now a book he has, too
    That he’ll sign just for you
    And send it right up to your place

  26. Hi all! Here we go…

    There once was a Guy who played bass
    Him we could never replace
    For it seems to me
    And we all agree
    He plays better than ol’ What’s-His-Face


  27. I’m trying not to look at the other entries whilst I write this, it’s proving to be quite difficult.

    Anyhoos, here’s something worthy of Rabbie Burns (or maybe Roy Chubby Brown):

    There once was a Guy who played bass
    Who was something of a nutcase
    Whilst playing Comfortably Numb
    He set fire to his bum
    And took off like a rocket into space

    Shame Dr. Seuss isn’t around to help me with the old rhymes.

    Anyhoos, I really enjoyed the recipes for fruit salads and cocktails, they brightened up my revision.

    Hope everyone’s well.
    x x x

  28. This is great! This game must have been Guy’s idea, because it is way better then blotto! (Just razzing you, FEd 😉

    There once was a Guy who played bass
    I bought him a beer for his face
    Don’t tell the boss
    He’ll be jealous, of course
    No worries, he still played like an ace

    I’ll get that book either way, I really want that shirt!

    Thanks for the opportunity, Guy.


    [You know you love Blotto. Don’t try to hide it. – Features Editor]

  29. There once was a Guy who played bass,
    And never a note went to waste.
    He played with such fury..
    It made mothers worry!
    You’d like him, if you’ve got good taste.

  30. Oh my god, what has Fed started..

    Bless you all, hope it’s worth it!!

    Love from rainy Bournemouth

  31. There once was a Guy who played bass
    Made others look lame on the case
    Neither a chore with Brian Ferry
    Nor wore a Fred Perry
    And with Gilmour he really cut to the chase


  32. Here goes,

    There once was a Guy who played bass
    Who really does kick ass
    Guitar in hand
    He makes his stand
    “Didn’t they do well”

  33. One for the Gipper 🙂

    “There once was a fine chap named F*Ed
    Who liked watching balls bounce off of heads
    It would stir in his soul
    When opponents yelled, “GOAL!”
    Then he’d pout for a week in his bed!”

  34. There once was a guy who played bass
    Who couldn’t find any shoe lace
    He ran on the stage
    To earn a good wage
    But only fell flat on his face.

  35. Here’s a ditty form Aylesbury

    “There was once a Guy who played bass
    To a pretty young lady named Grace.
    When he asked if she would tickle his strings,
    She blushed and said that she prefered ‘blings’.
    Oh what a smile that brought to his face!”

    Boom boom. Don’t worry I won’t give up the day job.

  36. Ahhh..Poetry 🙂

    There once was a Guy who played Bass
    He played the best Bass in the Place
    He would lay down a beat
    And tap with his feet
    That Guy Was an Ace with his Bass

    Good luck with the Book Guy!

    FEd, Great contest Mate!

  37. This is fun! Thank you, Guy!!!

    There once was a Guy who played bass
    Who was known as a bit of a “case”.
    He laughed and told jokes
    While having his smokes
    And plucked while dancing in place.

    Hope to see you lot in the chatroom tomorrow.


  38. There once was a Guy who played bass,
    Who rarely minded his place,
    He drank like a fish,
    called Polly a ‘dish’,
    And was immediately sacked in disgrace!

  39. Hi Guy

    There once was a Guy from Nantucket…oops,start over…

    There once was a Guy who played bass
    His singing and playing were great
    No scowling does he
    Just fun comedy
    No doubt his book lands in first place

  40. There once was a Guy who played bass
    Who’s team never finished in first place
    So he spoke to Fed
    Who said “use your head”
    Now Guy’s going to Greece with his sun bed

  41. Hey!

    There once was a Guy who played bass
    Who wore a Smile that covered his face,
    With strings plucked by his finger
    His legend will linger
    As the man who took poor Roger’s place!

    Thank you!

  42. Here goes…

    There once was a Guy who played bass
    His shoes lacked any sort of shoelace
    His hair was so wrong
    His dance so headstrong
    but we all love the Guy who played bass

    And before Guy sends the boys around to smarten me up about the hair reference. I’m talking past PF tours… ‘onest!

  43. There once was a Guy who played bass
    On stage, left of Dave was his place
    He always played long
    Echoes, his favorite song
    A while ago he said thats the case.


  44. Hey Guy! great of you to stop by…. I get the impression you are reading regularly and just popping in now and then. Well it’s always awesome to have you post in here!

    Sorry you are getting rained on… it’s like Summer here in sunny San Diego California (actually hot… in the 90’s (what is that? About 38 or 39°C?).

    Well good luck with the book- hope its a big seller. Is it going to be released in the States? Fed only mentioned the UK.

    Well have a great day. Hope you are enjoying the poems…. there are some really funny ones!


  45. There once was a Guy who played bass
    There once was a Guy who played bass
    My keyboard is stuck!
    I shouted “What Luck!”
    There once was a Guy who played bass

  46. There once was a Guy who played bass
    Whose feet were all over the place
    As he played “Run like Hell”
    They said “didn’t he do well
    But his dancing’s a bloody disgrace”

  47. Hi,

    I’m a lurker round here. (Saw DG in Amsterdam last year and have been speechless ever since!)

    Anyway this looks fun and is my first post so please bear with me!

    There once was a Guy who played bass
    Rock stars had him down as an ace
    Whilst busy with Michael Jackson,
    Bryan Ferry and Robbie Robertson
    Thought “I’d rather be playing on About Face!”

    [Thanks for taking the plunge, Phil. Good luck. – Features Editor]

  48. There once was a guy who played bass
    He stomped around, as if in disgrace
    But the loyal fans knew better
    As they crowded together
    Shouting, just look at the smile on his face!!!

  49. There once was a Guy who played bass
    who would dance around in his space
    when asked to start jamming
    he thought they said ramming
    and he put Posh Spice in it’s place.

    Nice of you to drop by, Guy. (Gee, now everything is rhyming.)

  50. There once was a Guy who played bass
    He was witty and pretty of face
    He shamelessly hijacked The Blog
    But done such a good job
    That we loved him to bits – Quelle homme!

    Can we do haiku’s next week?

    [I did toy with the idea of making this a ‘Guyku’. Definitely next time. – Features Editor]

  51. Limericks? I don’t find it in italian, so in english….

    Dear Michele and Lucia, we’re three of a kind!

    ciao Guy and FEd!

  52. There once was a Guy who played bass,
    who was afraid to take it out of its case,
    He looked at the guitar,
    and he thought `I`m a Star`
    Guy you are incredibly Ace.

  53. There once was a Guy who played bass
    And other animals, all of them ace
    Didn’t he do well
    With all the stories he doth tell
    And always with a smile on his face

  54. Probably I could be better taming a kind of enraged bull than making rhymes. But for the love of the blog, I will look in the inner of my poetic spirit…

    “There once was a Guy who played bass…”
    driving you in a music maze
    but for him play wasn’t enough
    so he enjoyed making you laugh
    I hope he has also time for some laze

    My poetic spirit is too inner. I couldn’t reach it!


  55. Here is an attempt from a first time poster…

    There once was a Guy who played bass,
    Who always treated others with kindness and grace;
    Unlike that bloke named Roger,
    Who through his actions became quite a bother.
    And now David can make music with a smile on his face!

    [Another one! Welcome, Randall. Thanks for giving it a whirl. Good luck to you. – Features Editor]

  56. There once was a Guy who played bass
    Ne’er once would it be in it’s case
    He loved it so much
    He played it as such
    The rest we know as he is all aglow

    Original version from line 4 but was wary of the risque rule

    He kissed it as such
    Now there is a Guy with…2 basses

  57. There once was a Guy who played bass…
    Who always plays with such grace…
    But you should see him drunk…
    He’s was so full of spunk…
    When Gooners Beat Reds…

    Tally ho!!! ;^))

  58. There once was a Guy who played bass
    Whose deep low end filed up the place
    With tasty slick fills
    Guys playing sure kills
    His talent has not gone to waste

  59. [I did toy with the idea of making this a ‘Guyku’. Definitely next time. – Features Editor]

    A Guyku!!! FEd, that has to be the greatest creation I have ever heard of.

    You are such a smart FEd 🙂

  60. There once was a Guy who played bass
    Friendly fellow, by the look on his face;
    Didnt he do well,
    I think we can tell;
    After all, he is a genuine ace

    If only we could ALL win a moment of his grace…

  61. There once was a Guy who played bass
    who did so with finesse and grace
    His fingers, how they move!
    He really does prove
    that Roger was a disgrace.

    Is that considered rude? My apologies. But I bet Guy can play the fretless bass!!!

    If that is rude, I’ll change the last three lines to:

    The notes he produces,
    the ROCK he produces,
    surely no one could replace.

    But I still submit the first draft as the official! 😀

  62. There was once a Guy who played bass.
    He toured with David all over the place.
    They told him he was funny.
    Now he’s going to make money.
    I am buying the book just in case.

    Great idea Fed and Guy. Thanks

  63. There once was a guy named Fed.
    David says to go right on ahead.
    He got into a fix.
    Then sharpened his pointy sticks.
    The blogs in shape, off to bed.

    Sorry, couldn’t resist. Now see what you’ve done? LOL.

  64. These entries are great!

    Here’s what I came up with:

    There once was a Guy who played bass,
    With always a smirk on his face;
    Even though he seemed hazy,
    And perhaps a bit crazy,
    His wit never ceased to amaze!

  65. Happy Thursday,

    This is going to be a real hard one to judge. There are so many good ones.

    And hats off to the people where english is not their first language.

    I certainly could not do what you have if this competition were in Italian or French.

    Pete – Coventry

  66. there once was a guy who played bass
    and I for one think he ace
    and since 87
    he has had me in heaven
    but your trainners do need a lace…….

    Rgds Geoff Duffy ( Dublin )

  67. There once was a guy who played bass,
    when he played happiness shone upon his face;
    proving that even when joking around,
    he could most definitely keep the pace.

  68. There once was a Guy who played bass
    With great bands all over the place
    His colourful past
    He has published at last
    It will give you a smile on your face

  69. this looks like fun, gotta have a go…..

    There once was a guy who played bass,
    For our Lord Mr Gilmour, his grace,
    He forgot his roots,
    Got too big for his boots,
    And now Guy Pratts’ taken his place.

    oooh, thats gotta hurt!

  70. There once was a Guy who played bass,
    For drinking, he couldn’t handle the pace,
    Him and Simon hit Swansea,
    However Guy drank like a sissy,
    And ended up falling flat on his face!

  71. Donc, c’est parce que, en fait, ‘bass’ ne rime ni avec ‘grass’ ni avec ‘class’, et puis, c’est tellement plus marrant que les Maths… Si ça ne compte pas, pas de problème.

    There once was a Guy who played bass,
    With a lovely smile on his face,
    Then he jumped to the blog,
    What a nice epilogue,
    Welcome to David’s cyberspace !


  72. [Posted by: Buffalo Phil at May 9, 2007 06:09 PM]

    Everytime I read this one I cannot stop laughing. Great stuff indeed.

    Best regards.


  73. *not contest entry*

    There once was a guy who played bass
    Who dribbled all over the place
    He dribbled so bad
    It was really quite sad
    To see dribbles all over his face

    (FEd said I could, so there 8p)

    [Only one entry will be considered from each person. If it’s not made clear which is your contest entry, then your first one will be taken as The One. – Features Editor]

  74. I wasn’t going to send this but I’ve spotted a few FEd limericks so…

    There once was a blog Features Ed
    Who couldn’t bear Radiohead
    His friend called Lucia
    Said “You really must hear…”
    But he said “I’d rather be dead!”

    [Lynn, you know I really shouldn’t comment, but I think the above is pretty fair. – Features Editor]

  75. It has been a while since I’ve been here but glad to see the crowd is still active! My humble submission:

    There once was a Guy who played Bass,
    On tour forgot his suitcase,
    He had but one shirt,
    It smells of Roquefort,
    So he blogged it away post-haste!

    You should have Guy (if so willing) sign the shirt as well!

    …Cheers to all

  76. Yes, it’s me “fruit salad man.” I thought it quite funny that FEd posts the idea with the line that the “men in white coats” come take me away for the suggestion and if you hadn’t noticed I didn’t get to post in the silliness of the topic. My absence was due to being taken away with a bunch of men in white shirts to a corporate meeting for several days. But it was amusing to read through all the possible fruity combinations.

    From my perspective, thanks for allowing us to entertain some silliness now and then. And even though, I know some were put off by the idea, it’s not going to stop me from suggesting other things in the future. I enjoy pushing the boundaries of creative thinking. If it’s not appropriate, FEd knows where to draw the line.

    Limerick to come later.



  77. [If it’s not made clear which is your contest entry, then your first one will be taken as The One]

    Couldn’t resist this – IT IS NOT THE ONE

    There was a young man called Fed
    His job kept him from going to bed
    He would chastise us fools
    And he supported Liverpool
    I bet he wished he was going to Athens instead

    Pete – Coventry

    [Athens… – Features Editor]

  78. Wow, what a fun competition! I’m definitely going to work on one and get into this competition for a change. I skipped reading the ones already posted, because I don’t want to be influenced by the other talent here.

    Good luck to all who enter!


  79. *Official Limerick Entry*

    There once was a guy who played bass
    Who replaced his bass with a plaice
    Said David that’s pish
    Playing bass with a fish
    Said Guy, I don’t care, shut your face.

  80. ah! ah! Thank you, Lynn! It made me laugh! I will make them inscribe it on my grave, in ‘Spoon River Anthology’ style. Will you do the same, Fed? It would be nice…


    [There are things I don’t wish to imagine and my gravestone is one of them. – Features Editor]

  81. There once was a Guy who played bass
    Who’s skills we would embrace
    His horizons became broader
    As he married Rick Wright’s daughter
    Who probably puts him in his place

  82. There once was a Guy who played Bass
    Who didn’t want to put his bass in it’s case
    When playing Marooned,
    a heckler gooned…
    Play something from About Face!

  83. Hey FEd!

    These are great limericks…So Funny and Original.

    I made a picture on my computer, and I thought I would share it with you…It goes with the OAI theme, if you dont mind sharing it with everyone.

    [Nice. Please click Ax’s name below to see it. – Features Editor]

  84. Wowzers F’ed, you’ve really started something here. I’ve come up with another 6 versions and can’t decide which one stands the best chance!

    Anyways, while I mull that over, heres one for you…..

    There once was a guy known as F’ed
    Who wasn’t at all off his head
    While walking the dog
    He thought of this blog
    and got everyone out of bed.


  85. There once was a Guy who played bass
    Who danced with a smile on his face
    There’s a twinkle in is eye
    He’s a really great Guy
    His sound on Echoes is quite ace

  86. There once was a Guy who played bass
    Whose feet couldn’t stay in one place
    He tried to keep still
    As in a voice oh so shrill
    David said, “It’s a gig not a race”.

    It’s terrible, I know, but it’s the taking part, right?

    There are some really brilliant ones, really funny. Good luck to everyone.

  87. ok, i’ve made my decision, please consider this as my entry F’ed.

    There once was a guy who played bass
    Who wanted to go into space
    His missus called Nasa
    And after a chatter
    They sent Tony Blair in his place.

  88. ‘There once was a Guy who played bass
    Who went on to tour and replace
    A bassist named Roger
    Who’s a bit of a ‘codger’
    Now Pratt is the Ace of the bass.

    F’Ed…what fun. Lots of great posts.

    good luck all,

    [Before anyone gets defensive and complains, many of us are codgers here. – Features Editor]

  89. Nice competition FEd,

    Here goes :

    There once was a Guy who played bass
    Played his strings with a smile and such grace
    Of the band he’s most jolly
    Toured with David and Polly
    And brought Glassman to his rightful place

    Best regards,

  90. ok this is going to be a load of codswallop but the prizes are worth me making an eejit of myself over 🙂

    “There once was a Guy who played bass…”
    and jumped all around the place .
    on the blog he would post
    the bass player with the most
    then with fruit salad he’d stuff his face .

    thats my real entry . now for another one . the lady is on a roll you see !


  91. There once was a Guy who played bass
    His name was Pratt, Have smile on his face
    He jumped up & down on stage in p.u.l.s.e
    To show us “He’s not better than Roger” is false
    David turned to him, saw his shiny-smily face

  92. Welcome to the new guys! We don’t bite, honest. Loved that limerick, Randall. Lucia and Michele, yours were great too! Bravo, for stepping out and giving it a try!

    There are a lot of really good ones. They have been fun to read and to write. Hey FEd, on our slow days around here, maybe we could do one for other members of the band.

    Congrats on finishing finals and on graduating, Penny! I know first hand how much of a feat that is, especally with the family to take care of. My finals are next week. Back to the books . . .


    [Good luck to all those who are facing exams next week. – Features Editor]

  93. There once was a guy who played Bass
    Who strummed at an incredible pace
    He played it so fast
    Tones shot up his arse
    And out through the smile on his face !


    Tee eye em bee oh !

  94. There once was Guy who played bass
    Multiple artists’ stages he does grace
    Author of ‘My Bass and Other Animals’
    Comedy and blogs among his credentials
    So many great talents to embrace!

    Thanks Guy, I look to (finding and) reading your new book 🙂

    Take Care. CT

  95. Ok…this is just too much fun (this one doesn’t count):

    There once was a Guy who played bass,
    rattling notes all over the place,
    He gave great bottom to Dave,
    (which sounds quite depraved!),
    Now poor Roger has egg on his face!

    By the way, I agree with Peter. Maybe those who use English as a second (or third??) language should get extra points?

  96. There once was a Guy who played bass
    Who said he’d meet Pudders (and case)
    He came out of door two
    Not the right thing to do!
    As Pudders was not in that place!

  97. and the hits keep coming…indulge me please fellow Gilmourions (not my entry):

    There once was a Guy who played bass
    Who one night just felt out of place
    He exclaimed, “Oh my Gosh!”
    Standing right behind Posh
    “I prefer this view to your face!”

  98. ok seeing as guy has already been honoured with tons of limericks about him, i thought i would give it a go for the rest of the band and yourself fet ed.

    a bloke round here called fet ed
    gets totally out of his head
    with posters that mither
    he shouts sod this for a fiver
    are liverpool playing instead ?

    the boss is called david gilmour
    he certainly makes the crowds roar
    he plays comfortably numb
    with notes never bum
    his guitar playing is stuff of lore

    a saxophonist called parry, dick
    he never misses a trick
    when in shine on he plays
    the crowds in a daze
    as a musician he’s far from thick

    To be continued…

  99. There once was a Guy who played bass
    With big rock stars of various tastes
    His first book sold quite well
    The publishers could tell
    He’s a Guy they will never replace

  100. There once was a guy who played bass
    His T shirt was just a disgrace
    On tour with Gilmour,
    The T shirt he wore
    But the Arsenal were not in the race………..

    We won it 5 times
    We won it 5 times
    In Istanbul
    We won it 5 times.
    It’s only on loan
    It’s only on loan
    From ancient Greece
    We’ll bring it back home.

  101. Once there was a bassist named Guy…
    Who thought he’d give the Floyd a try…
    After a few sessions,
    the lads needed confessions…
    Now at his jokes they just sigh…

  102. There once was a Guy who played bass.
    On the frets were his fingers, the notes he replaced.
    A smack, a patter, a wham!
    Night lights his white smile,
    didnt they do well my friend?

  103. There once was a Guy who played bass
    Grooving all over the place
    In London, Paris, Rome, and Toronto
    Fingerstyle, pickstyle, slap – loudly; pronto!
    Always a smile on his face

    (You might want to pronouce “Paris” with the stress on the last syllable. It gives a slightly better rhythm.)

  104. Continued…

    from pink floyd there is richard wright
    who’s playing is always tight
    he sings things as well
    just as clear as a bell
    as you would think that he might

    manzanera el magnifico phil
    his guitar playing is full of skill
    standing at the bosses side
    and looking so lithe
    his music will give us a thrill

    the drummer di stanislao, steve
    has got big muscles up his sleeve
    to keep the beat coming
    he is always drumming
    his drum stool, he never will leave

    multi talented carin, jon
    can never put a foot wrong
    On guitar and the keys
    His music will please
    A musician ever so strong

    just to explain why most of the muscians’ names are back to front, it is the only way i could think of rhymes for them 🙂


    [Very good. – Features Editor]

  105. There once was a Guy who played bass,
    which he carried around in its case.
    A beast made by Fender,
    Guy is also a…… gender,
    in the States, or at least thats what he says.


  106. There once was a Guy who played bass,
    which he wielded with might like a mace.
    With Floyd, Gilmour or Roxy,
    and a stance that’s so foxy,
    It’s a wonder the ladies don’t chase!

  107. There once was a Guy who played bass,
    Who stood out from all human race.
    You’d think him from Venus,
    He has such a huge Genius…
    Or at least I think that’s what girls say…


  108. There once was a Guy who played bass,
    Who was overall quite a nutcase,
    Although he’s a Pratt,
    He’s a nice one at that,
    and has a nice smile on his face!

  109. There once was a Guy who played bass
    with many a band he took place.
    But when along came old Bowie,
    his heart went “kapowie”
    You should have seen the look on his face!

    (it’s a word, I’m sure of it!!!)

  110. ~~not my entry…. yet, anyway…~~

    There once was a Guy who played bass
    He drank liquor by the case
    He fell right on stage
    While playing with Page,
    Then he barfed all over the place!

  111. **non-official entry**

    There once was a Guy who played bass
    Who jumped up and down in one place
    Old Rog was aghast
    Having witnessed that
    Guy could chew gum playing bass

    …what fun!

  112. There once was a Guy who played bass,
    and could play at an incredible pace
    He was well overjoyed
    when Dave, from Pink Floyd
    Said it’s Roger you’re going to replace.

  113. There once was a Guy who played bass…
    With amazing precision and grace,
    His fingers so nimble,
    The tunes though not simple,
    Were performed with such clarity and pace.

  114. **non-official entry**

    This ones for you EchoesBob…

    There once was a Guy who played bass
    Who often played Echoes of space
    Turned to ask Dave
    With a nod and a wave
    Who let the ‘gulls in this place?

  115. **non-official entry**

    (gotta get me one of those rubber stamps, FEd)

    There once was a Guy who played bass
    Who wore a chagrin on his face
    He knew not he was sharin’
    A man named Jon Carin
    To the man he was hired to replace

  116. **non-official entry** duh!

    I’m so impressed with Linda’s largesse, I had to write one for her!

    Linda the Green Island lass
    Could weave silky rhymes with much class
    The words came anew
    With each ale that she brew
    You’d think she could pull ’em from her…..

  117. Shoot, I messed up the PC lines…

    the notes he produces

    the ROCK he INDUCES…

    My bad. I still like the first one better. 😀

  118. Alright..since Fed lims somehow sneaked in..

    There once was a bloke we call Fed
    And oh what a legend in bed
    His wife is now a bitchin
    For he’s always in his kitchen
    Mind on his smoothie
    No time for his hoochie

  119. ““not my entry, either““

    There once was a Guy who played bass,
    Who decided to enter the race
    He travelled afar
    With his precious guitar
    While Roger fell right on his face!

  120. another one…. not my entry… yet….LOL

    There once was a Guy who played bass
    Who had a secret fetish for lace
    He had it hidden away
    Where he could touch it each day…
    And sometimes rub on his face!

  121. I shall give it a whirl;

    There once was a Guy who played bass.
    Who had such a cherubic face.
    A word from Commander Gilmour,
    Off they went, on another tour.
    Venturing from place to place.


  122. Oh Fed I can`t leave you out, here is one just for you;

    There once was a person named Fed,
    Who really did not like what he read,
    His work is like toil,
    It makes his blood boil,
    He said sod you lot I`m off to bed!

    Sorry about that could not resist, Hope everyone has a good Friday!


  123. And ONLY if I`m allowed;

    There once was a guitarist called Dave(id),
    Who`s playing could stir up a rave,
    That one who`s called pink,
    Might stir up a stink,
    But he`ll only play in a cave.

    Sorry about this one.

  124. There once were these people called Bloggers,
    If they were fans of others no one would bother,
    Went off like a bomb,
    And now we are all just like brothers (and sisters)!

  125. Here goes …

    There once was a Guy who played bass
    On his shoes you’ll find nary a lace.
    He thinks that it’s funny
    To go reggae on “Money”
    Even David can’t keep a straight face!

  126. Oh well, it looks like I left out line#4 which proves that one should not type half asleep 😉

    It should have been:

    There was a guy who played bass
    When he played, happiness shone upon his face
    Proving that even when joking around
    Laying down that island sound
    He could most definitely keep the pace.

    After reading some of the other entries it proves that wide awake isn’t much better. It’s great fun though. Good entries all!

  127. *non-official entry*

    There once was a FEd, unkown gender
    Who for Christmas was given a blender
    A banana, a mango
    In a swirling fruit tango
    There was hope for a New Year more slender

    [Very good. – Features Editor]

  128. I just have to say….I am REALLY enjoying all the posts here. I began jotting down a few names so I could be sure to shout out “Bravo” — but my list grew longer and longer.

    Thanks for some great laughs, gang!

  129. Fun blog entry today! Here’s my go at it…

    There once was a Guy who played bass
    He swung it around like a mace
    Crushed his pack of fags
    Climbing Scafell crags
    So lit his bass mace in their place

  130. There once was a Guy who played bass…
    His fingers storm, as if handling lace…
    He owns a special t-shirt of everyone’s desire
    And a new book that’s bound to be “on fire”
    Cheers Guy! Wish you all the best in upcoming days.

    Good night all!

  131. There once was a Guy who played bass
    Always a big grin on his face
    With Floyd he would tour
    As well as Gilmour
    And Thank God he never wore lace!

  132. Wow this is a lot of fun! Great stuff Fed.

    There once was a Guy who played bass,
    when struck a chord, he made a face.
    “Pratt, ain’t that blubber on your sole?”
    “Drat, it ain’t that you know whole,
    ’tis music in my soul that’s wrapped in lace.”

  133. David and others played the Barbican Theatre, London last night.

    Pete – Coventry

    [He did and we’ll have more on this shortly. Please see Latest News for now. – Features Editor]

  134. there was a band called floyd
    and they pretty much reunited again last night!! (for 2 numbers)
    i’m in shock
    and this doesn’t rhyme, sorry.

  135. Not an entry…

    There once was a blog site,
    that gave Gilmour fans such delight;
    It came to us in 2006,
    accompied by great music and wonderful pics;
    so, shine on to all and good-nite.

  136. NOT MY ENTRY – ode to that night…..

    There once was a guy who played bass
    His fingers could go at some pace
    He wasn’t annoyed
    To play with Pink Floyd
    You could tell by the look on his face

    There once was a guy who played drums
    With David and all of his chums
    He’d lay down a beat
    With the soles of his feet
    And the audience gave upward thumbs

    There once was 2 guys who played boards
    They were Wright and Carin of course
    The effect that they gave
    With David on Stage
    Was rewarded with rampant applause

    There once was a guy on guitar
    Who already was quite a star
    He stood next to Guy
    With a glint in his eye
    And his playing was really on par

    There once was a guy who took lead
    Introductions he just doesn’t need
    His vocals were stunning
    Guitar work mind numbing
    He brought Albert Hall to it’s knees.

    There once was a band went on tour
    Who luckily I went and saw
    The sound was sublime
    The effects quite divine
    It could only be David Gilmour

  137. thanks mike i am impressed . i will work one out for you by the time of the next chat . i am all rhymed out at the moment !

    have a good weekend everyone .


    this is not my real entry of course !

    There once was a Guy who played bass
    for touring he got quite a taste
    with roxy, gilmour and floyd
    he couldn’t avoid
    playing all over the place

    sorry fet ed , thats the last one . i don’t want to flood the place !

  138. Pretty cool, the Syd Barrett tribute described on the main page of

    I’d have loved to attend, and not just for the Pink Floyd reunion. So many of those performers were the “aging hippies” I listened to in my youth. I would have liked to hear “Flickering Flame” because I have apparently forgotten it. And in Nick’s book, there is a picture of Joe Boyd taken in 1966 — wonder what the legendary producer looks like now.

    I had heard nothing of this concert until it was on the main page, perhaps because I am North American.

    Okay, Brits, you get shows like this. Next time David plays in America, don’t complain that he plays too many shows here. You get the one-off, spontaneous shows such as this one.

  139. There once was a Guy who played bass…
    In times of punk, he was asked, to his face
    Your name? “It’s Guy Pratt”
    He was asked, “Is it true, that”?
    He said “Yes, and I play bass!”

  140. Wow, you have really started something, FEd. It may be a while before we can stop compulsively composing limericks. I love it.

    Well done, everyone! Michele, I like yours a lot!


  141. There once was a Guy who played Bass,
    He joined in and he took Roger’s place,
    He’s played with the rest,
    and he’s played with the Best (David of course),
    a tall order but you passed the test.

    Thanks guy.

    well thats my effort and i realise its no winner by the other standards/ oh well i will have to pay out for the book

    cheers Fed, what a show it must have been

    rest in peace Syd Barrett

  142. There once was a Guy who played bass
    Who saw every song as a race.
    When quavers become
    Quintuplets, he’s done
    Before the others give chase.

  143. Good Luck to all, There are some great ones so far.

    Hope everyone has a great weekend.

    And a Happy Birthday to AxPxM88. Hope you had a great day yesterday.


  144. There once was a Guy who played bass,
    whose shows had people falling all over the place,
    he’s played with the best,
    never standing still to take rest,
    and if i recieve a signed book, i’ll be smilling all over my face!

    Best wishes with the book and tour Guy.

  145. There once was a Guy who played bass
    with remarkable expressions of face
    whether bells, bricks or money
    he’d pull faces so funny
    without ever bringing rhythmic disgrace!

  146. I suppose i have to study in the week-end… as….in Lear’s limericks the first and last lines usually end with the same word, rather than rhyming.

    For the most part, they are truly nonsensical and devoid of any punch line or point; there is nothing in them to “get”. They are completely free of the off-colour humour with which the verse form is now associated. A typical thematic element is the presence of a callous and critical “they”.

    An example of a typical Lear limerick:

    There was an Old Man of Aôsta,
    Who possessed a large Cow, but he lost her;
    But they said, ‘Don’t you see,
    she has rushed up a tree?
    You invidious Old Man of Aôsta!’

    but the truth is that i had no time at all till now…i’ll send my best effort within monday
    in the meantime have a nice weekend to you all and all the limericks i’ve read are great!

    Ciao Elisabetta

  147. That’s it, I’m quitting my job and writing limericks from now on…

    There once was a Guy who played bass
    And everyone agreed the chap was quite ace
    He played with Ferry, Madonna and Floyd
    And then wrote a book that might make them paranoid
    Ah, but he was a guy who would never put anyone out of place

    Didn’t I do well?

  148. ~My entry~

    There once was a Guy who played bass
    But that’s not what he stowed in his case!
    The cops wanted a look
    And discovered his book
    Then gave him a relieved embrace!

  149. An extra one just for fun:

    There once was a Guy who played bass
    The music of which he embraced
    The Bloggers were great
    The Band was first-rate
    Leaving memories never erased.

  150. OK, here’s a try…

    There once was a Guy who played bass
    his feet liked to keep up the pace
    but once he fell down
    he felt like a clown
    one too many pints in his face

  151. Not an entry – sorry fed, last one I promise…..

    There once was a guy who played bass
    He put on a real show-case
    Now he’s coming to Swindon
    In June for some reason
    Who cares, all I can say’s ACE

    Thank you Guy, it’s a date!!!!!

  152. There once was a Guy who played bass
    Fingers all over the place
    Running frets, plucking strings
    While the other guy sings
    Just can’t remember his face

  153. I’m going with this entry as my official one:

    There once was a Guy who played bass.
    Who performed next to leather and lace.
    Then he met Gilmour.
    Who opened the door.
    And now he’s in a much better place.



  154. And this one is for fun:

    There once was a Guy who played bass.
    Whose riffs you heard all over the place.
    Then Jackson said beat it.
    Madonna said eat it.
    Geez, isn’t that just a disgrace?



  155. Can’t resist….two more for fun:

    There once was a Guy who played bass.
    He had some interesting tastes.
    One night in Havana.
    He ate a banana.
    Then upchucked all over the place.

    There once was a Guy who played bass.
    His dream was an interesting case.
    One night in Brazil.
    He went for the kill.
    But Gilmour never toured in that place.



  156. There once was a Guy who played bass,
    Who if abducted by aliens from space-
    Could soothe them with sound
    Create laughter all ’round
    And save the entire human race.

    What an enjoyable contest. Guy is my hero.

    Well no, he isn’t, but he’s still pretty cool.

  157. Hi Ho All,

    There once was a Guy who played bass
    Who could balance both charisma and grace
    From the old Landsdowne Park
    To the Gdansk Shipyard
    Some twenty years in his rightful place.

    Thanks Guy, for all the music over the years.


  158. There once was a guy who played bass
    He toured all over the place
    But when the tour was done
    He said its time to have fun
    So an Island he went to for some space

    I tried Fed, I hope you all will like

    Have a good weekend everyone,

    Take Care

  159. There once was a Guy who played bass,
    Without strings – the whole thing’s a disgrace!
    It transpires, all the time
    He’d been plucking by mime.
    Now he’s living alone on MySpace.

    Doug Harris

  160. Fed you are a genius, since May 9 all the bloggers are making rhymes and brava Elisabetta: the true point of Lear’s limericks is Nonsense which is not so easy to get but… it’s a great fun.

    By now this one:

    There was a young Guy with a bass
    who liked to go barefoot on maize
    When they said “don’t you fear
    he replied “I’m so near
    to become the best player of bass!”

    Good luck Fed. I think you’ll have to work a lot with this competition!

  161. There once was a Guy who played bass.
    I first knew him only by face.
    But on tours he kept showin,
    and my fondness kept growin,
    in Floyd history, the name Pratt has its place.

  162. I don’t know what the above post is about, but I am currently listening to the wall and I have been for about twenty years on and off. It just blows my mind every time! It seems to apply to ones life on every level at any time, its surreal!

    God you guys have got everything going on. Just get back together before someone else dies, for gods sake. When you have got talent like yours, egos should not matter!

    From a psychiatric nurse.

    [Nurse, or patient? When I eventually crack up, could everyone reading this please make sure that Angela is NOT my nurse? Thanks. – Features Editor]

  163. It took me a while to finish reading the limericks posted so far, but I enjoyed every second of it.

    The prize of winning both the book and the T-shirt is no doubt tempting. But I believe it was the fun and sentiment that invigorate us sending in our entries. Some even sent in more than one entry. There are others went above and beyond and sent in limericks on each band member and even on FEd. What a creative bunch we have on the Blog!

    Congratulations FEd, you did it again! The idea is refreshing and you sure captured the attention of many regulars and irregulars. Remarkable!

    [Thank you, Veronica. I’m glad you enjoyed them. I’ve mentioned it before, but this is a good time to repeat myself (so that, hopefully, we can all avoid any grumbling when the winner is finally announced): Even though some people have sent in more than one limerick, only one entry will be considered from each person. If it’s not made clear which of your limericks is intended as your entry, then I will take your first. Nobody will have an unfair advantage. The same goes for those who have sent in different entries using different names. Nothing gets past me, sorry. – Features Editor]

  164. There once was a Guy who played bass,
    Who looked nothing like Rog, in the face-
    But he filled up that void,
    (now known as “Dry Floyd”;)
    and launched his own pig into space.

  165. There once was a Guy who played bass
    Who flew like a pig into space
    The great gig in the sky
    turned out to be dry !!
    And that wiped the smile off his face.

    cheers Guy you’re a diamond

    martin___ d

  166. [Nurse, or patient? When I eventually crack up, could everyone reading this please make sure that Angela is NOT my nurse? Thanks. – Features Editor]

    That is hilarious!

  167. [The same goes for those who have sent in different entries using different names. Nothing gets past me, sorry. – Features Editor]

    Who is Fed ? … Our Big Brother.


    [You’d better believe it. – Features Editor]

  168. There once was a Guy who played bass
    Who plucks with a perfect pluck pace
    He plucks all the time
    Because plucking is fine
    This Guy cannot be replaced


  169. Merci Michèle pour la traduction du limerick, je n avais absolument pas saisi!

    Fed, i’ll do my best…

    There was once a Guy who played bass.
    And after he went to his favorite downtown place.
    He decided to have a very nice bottle of wine to drink.
    He suddenly started to think pink.
    Pink Floyd, he thought, to play with them would be such a grace.

    OUF! pas facile for a french canadian!

    Sylvie de montréal

  170. here goes nothing

    There once was a Guy who played bass..
    Who kept a mirror in his case
    He thinks he’s pretty as can be,
    with those eyes as blue as the sea.
    but don’t tell him there’s food on his face.

  171. There once was a Guy who played bass,
    joining the Masters of very first class;
    as they said: “What a great performer!”
    he replied: “I’m also a comedy-writer”
    you eclectic Guy who played bass.

  172. ***Non official entry***

    Guy is a great musician, and a great personality, therefore, I had to write two limericks after feeling bad after realizing that my limerick was about the “other” bass player:

    There once was a Guy who played bass
    Who built a great wall for more space
    He said “its my gig”
    Don’t mess with my pig
    But the added hairy pair won the case


    There once was a guy who played bass
    who played “one of these days” with such grace
    he added some “funk”
    to his pink floyd trunk
    i wonder who this guy (pratt!) is everyone keeps talking about…

  173. There once was a Guy who played bass
    who has lovingly filled someones place
    He’s filled most the void
    But we still can’t avoid
    who we miss is our original Pink Floyd.

  174. There once was a Guy who played bass
    Who dressed up in makeup and lace.
    he heard a noise quickly turned to see,
    his little boy there looking questionably.
    He said “Daddy whats that on your face?”

  175. ‘La traduction du limerick’, Sylvie ? Je ne comprends pas vraiment de quoi tu parles…

    Peu importe, Je suis très heureuse que tu aies passé de bonnes vacances!

    C’est triste pour toi que ce soit fini, mais, moi, je suis (très égoïstement) ravie que tu sois de retour ici !


  176. Howdy all! i just logged into the chatroom for the 1st time. What a great bunch of guys! Just thought I’d drop my entry for Guys book/tshirt contest.

    There once was a Guy who played bass
    Who kept his tool in a case
    When he’d want to look cool
    He’d pull out his tool
    Only to be slapped in the face!

    Me and my fiance were lucky enough last year to have been bid a ‘good night’ from Guy in the streets of Venice after the Saturday night show. So he really is a nice Guy!

    [Good to see you here and in the chatroom earlier. Hope to see you again. – Features Editor]

  177. Hi,

    Here’s my first-ever limerick try…

    There once was a Guy who played bass
    Solid as a rock and precise as a compass.
    He wandered jumping through any stage
    Where he released other Animals from a cage
    And became another Lunatic on the grass.

    Take care,

  178. I was going to write a limerick but thought it more fitting to put these. A few lines i jotted down when I heard of Syd’s death. (I wondered why I hadn’t seen him on his bike for a while).

    For Syd

    I will always see you, in my mind.
    Preserved in the frozen fluids of time.
    As sounds pulse,
    and the primitive bubble light show
    bursts and shudders behind you.

    Your dark hair tousled.
    Eyes piercing.
    Surfing the psychedelic wave,
    as it surged through our times.

    But now the
    Madcap no longer laughs.
    No longer barefoot on the floor,
    Just another victim
    of forces that shaped us all.

    RIP, bike pump in hand
    But I’ll still remember,
    as you front the band
    At least heavan will now
    resonate to different sound.
    Perhaps that…..
    which goes beyond the accepted bounds

    Even on your bike.
    You were unique within these times.
    You, were the diamond
    that will always shine.

  179. Wow – good thing I re-read the rules…almost started wrong. I do hope that this (jest) doesn’t fall into the rude category…

    I didn’t look at the others yet…Looks like I’ve got some fun reading to do now 🙂

    There once was a Guy who played bass
    A name not to mention he’d replace
    It’s the bombastic beat
    That knocks you off your seat
    Leavin’ someone with egg on their face


  180. There once was a guy who played the bass
    Guy’s music was full of such passion and grace
    He played the world over with all of the best
    Smiling and pleasing the crowds with such zest
    But for David it was a most pleasurable case

  181. There once was a Guy who played bass
    with style and precision and grace
    However, it’s rumored
    that his sense of humor
    was why he could not be replaced.

  182. There once was a Guy who played bass,
    Had a Cheshire-cat smile on his face.
    He twirled and he danced,
    Paraded and pranced
    In a petticoat made out of lace!

    It’s late but I just had to participate in this gig!!

    Great job by everyone. Maybe we should compile them all into a book, give Guy some competition!!

    Washington State

  183. There once was a Guy who played bass
    He played with such style and grace
    He was asked to play with the best
    You know David, Nick, Richard and the rest
    He happily said yes and history tells the rest

    [Thank you, Barbara. Submitting it 14 times doesn’t help your chances, though. Please note that, as per the message displayed immediately after you submit your comment (“Your comment has been received and will be published shortly… There is no need to re-post your comment…”), your posts do not appear instantly. Every comment received is checked before it appears visible to the public. You just have to be patient and give me time to read through them all, I’m afraid. – Features Editor]

  184. There once was a guy who played bass
    who loved women in leather or lace.
    He had the girls at his feet and smackin’
    at what appeared to be the meat he was packin’
    Even though he knew it was only a bannanna
    he kept on playin’ with a smile on his face.

  185. There once was a Guy who played bass
    who’s footy team was falling from grace
    His t-shirt did tell
    Didn’t they do well
    but no! You could tell by his face

    (Sorry Guy!)

    [Don’t apologise, JT. We all know it’s true. – Features Editor]

  186. there once was a guy who played bass
    at all things he do he surpass
    all the time he spend
    so well in the end
    leads me surely like a compass

  187. Thank you all for sending in a limerick. We all enjoyed reading them, not least Guy.

    A shortlist will now be drawn up of our favourites and we’ll let you know more just as soon as we have chosen our lucky winner tomorrow.

    Just to remind everyone: even though some people sent in more than one limerick, only one entry will be considered from each person.

    If it hasn’t already been made clear which of your limericks was intended as your competition entry, then only your first will be considered eligible for the prize. It’s too late to quibble about it now.

    As clearly set out in the rules above, only one entry is allowed per person. Nobody will have an unfair advantage over everybody else. No further entries will be considered as of this notice.

    The prize is one of Guy’s very own ‘Didn’t They Do Well?’ T-shirts – as worn throughout David’s ‘On An Island’ tour – as well as a signed/personalised copy of Guy’s brilliant new book, ‘My Bass And Other Animals’, which is out later this month.

    Thanks again for joining in with the silliness. The best of luck to you all.

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